How do you fall in love with your husband- again?

It is not that I want to leave him. But he's hurt me - a lot. He's also lied about so many little pointless things that I've lost trust. He is not a man of his word so it's hard to find little reasons to gain back trust. I say I love him when he says it to me, but I don't say it first usually.





He needs to learn to stop lying. He needs to find ways to gain my trust back. Four years of lying and doing horrible things really hurt. I can forgive him all I want, but he doesn't understand that it doesn't take pain away or put trust back.





I don't know how to love him anymore. How do you fall in love again?





What would you tell him if you could?How do you fall in love with your husband- again?
This type of behavior will take quite some time to fix. He def needs to see a therapist/psychologist. Do you love him enough to help him with this? It may take years?





Sorry but you seem like a good woman and you may have married the wrong person for you.





If I were to guess, he probably won't see a therapist, right?How do you fall in love with your husband- again?
It sounds to me like your husband needs to grow up. A lot. It takes a lot to forgive someone for lying and hurting you. It is impossible to forget the pain. It's not your place to learn how to love him again. It's up to him to give you a reason to fall in love with him again. He obviously doesn't have much respect for you. And it doesn't sound like you have much self-respect left.


If he wanted to get back with you he wouldn't be seeing someone else. It doesn't sound like you're the problem, he is!


Good luck!
try remembering why you fell in love with him in the first place..and why you married him...


Sounds like the situation is difficult.


but it can work out...with lots of prayer and patience and communication with your husband.





Hey you should watch that movie: fireproof or maybe even buying the love dare book it is a great video for married couples.





Good luck and hope it works out for you.
Do things together. More than just watching television. Go for walks. Throw a baseball around. Play card games. Play boardgames. Invite other couples over for game nights (non-sexual). Read books to each other at night to fall to sleep.





Renew your friendship. Love will follow. Or it won't, in which case it is gone for good.
If he lie a lot don't try to trust or understand him because you will be setting your self up to be hurt again.When you talk to him just smile , but in your mind you know how you feel.
Sprinkle pixxie dust on yourself, clap ur hands 4 times and then lastly go into a room with a mirror and then do a few jumping jacks
by getting your own innocence back?





I wouldnt say anything
for me i'd have to travel back in time.


ask a pastor to visit your home,


before it gets worse.
you are only 20 years old, find someone else....he sounds extremely selfish and self centered....don't sell yourself short-find someone who is worthy of your love and attention-someone who will reciprocate your affection....you might hurt for awhile but at your age you can move on and find someone to really appreciate you...don't sell yourself short...you have a long life ahead of you-be happy with someone who can be happy with you.
First u don't say how old each of u are, nor how long u've been married, whether their are children involved. Nor are u clear about hurting u. R u talking physical abuse, verbal abuse or the fact that u mistrust him and that is what u mean by hurt?





If it's abuse phy or verbal run and find support group/hotline in ur area for domestic violence. Get counseling and develop a plan of escape if not in eminent danger.





Now if ur talking about trust... The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman ( local church library probably has copy, Fireproof Movie Love Dare Journal is a tough assignment to bring around change in ur marriage.





Why and what is ur mate lying about? Did he do this same behavior prior 2 marriage? Second this is the time 2 reach out to Pastors for free counseling. Change is not just about him, it's about YOU. You will set the tone 4 change, be aware he may not follow. It's how u react to confrontation, whether he's disrespecting u, cheating... ur too vague 2 know how 2 offer better tools to search. I have found local library's have a pleura of material. Positive reinforcement from dynamic speakers like Anthony Robbins about personal power, Gary Smalley on relationships. The Love Dare Journal though is powerful but u must be committed and continue it over and over. Many marriages have changed because of it and the movie.
'; he doesn't understand that it doesn't take pain away or put trust back. ';





And what would take the pain away and make you trust him again? Seriously... what would it take?





I think you need to find the answer to that before you try to love him again. Figure out what its going to take to make the relationship work first.





I personally think the answer that he change his behaviors, the lying, by him changing into a trustable person that doesn't lie is what it would take. So is he willing to go to counseling and work on these behaviors or not?
If you want to fall in love with him, it's because you actually love him. If you feel you don't, it is just because you are resented for being mistreated.





If you are not sincere to him telling him what you do not feel. He would notice it. He may believe that you are lying. Things could get worse. Let him know that you want to be a good wife, but you feel hurt. That you need to heal and he will need to help you.





Be specific and do not fight, do not argue. Learn to listen and just calmly talk. This is a skill, but very necessary for a marry women.
well draw the line and tell him you wont take it anymore either change or your gone i mean speaking as a guy i have been hurt to and when it doesn't fee right i leave i mean how long to you have to be in pain are you a masochist just figure out what it means to you and if you his puppet then let him pull your strings until your warn out or give him one more chance and leave if it doesn't satisfy you but its 2009 women don't have to take that there are other men out there and they are not all lairs and cheats so figure out where you draw the line go on from there ok good luck and god speed