How well did you know your husband before getting married...?

The reason I`m asking this is because I see lots of women here asking ';how do I save my marriage?'; ';Is marriage hard for you?'; ';Why is he like this?'; ';What can I do to save it?'; and many from which are less than 5 years of marriage!


The first thing I think is, why did they get married? I mean, when you meet a guy and start dating him, and you fall in love and you decide to get married, you KNOW how he is and KNOW how he`s going to be. If he`ll be responsible, good hearted, helpful, kind, loving etc...but many of these women seem to me like they didn`t really know their husbands before getting married, and rushed into marriage or for the wrong reasons...


I can hardly believe that these women REALLY knew them and everything was perfect, a perfect relationship and a perfect wedding and BOOM! He suddenly decided to change....???? And became really hurtful and angry, and not helpful around the house, and just became a bad bad husband!


Please, tell me because I`m married, almost 5 years and I would`ve never gotten married with a guy that I thought or knew wouldn`t be a good committed honest and loyal husband...I definitely dated the bad boy type, but I would`ve never married them!


So...what can you tell me???


If you can, tell me your story and how did your boyfriend, the one you loved and cared form, sweet and perfect relationship suddenly become a bad one with a bad husband???How well did you know your husband before getting married...?
Excellent observation! I have often wondered the same thing.





Seems a lot of women get married just to be married without understanding the person, knowing them or really planning for a life together. They ignore overt signs of incompatibility and stay in abusive situations. A lot of women don't create their own lives before they become wives resulting in situations that cause them to feel trapped.





I met my husband just as I finished college and prior to going to law school. He was already an attorney. He courted me, we fell in love and got to really know each other. The first time he kissed me, he asked if he could!! I remained a virgin until we married.





We continued to learn about each other and get to know what living with each other meant during the first few years of our marriage. We did not decide to bring a child into our marriage until we were married for 7 years. We now have an 11 month old princess. Love and marriage are great when you know who you are marrying, when you take your time, when you discuss your life together and when you plan.





Thanks for posting your observation and your question.How well did you know your husband before getting married...?
Most people rush into marriage with the wrong person OR they assume he will change when they marry him. Both are mistakes.





I met my husband when we were kids, we grew up together and dated since we were very young. We know each other better than anyone else on the planet knows us. Been happily married for 11 1/2 years, together 16.
My mate is an open book. It was easy to know him. And 26 years later he remains the same......I... like you, feel most times people do NOT know who they THINK they're madly in love with...... 鈾モ櫏
well i met my now husband when i was 15 and got married when i 18 and now am 25 years old. He is the sweets men he helps me with the kids, with the house,he spends time with me and the kids he takes us out to eat to the park, he gives us everything we need and want. But the past month he has been acting wired didn't think nothing of it until yesterday that i see his credit card bill and see he was in florida when i thought he was in another state working and a victoria secret purchase so don't know were i went wrong i been with him for 10 years and married for 7 so i don't know some men are stupid he wants to work it out but i don't think i cant
I met my ex-husband my senior year in high school. We only dated about a month before he was asking me to marry him. I was unsure but loved he way he made me feel and I agreed but wanted to wait a year. I ended up pregnant and in my 8th month we basically had to get married. He was in the national guard and stationed somewhere. If I would of went into labor he wouldn't of been able to be there because we were not married. I didn't want to have our son without him so against my better judgment, we were married. It lasted about 4 years. I was young and naive and wish I would not of rushed into things. Because of that, I have chosen not to get married and just live with my boyfriend. We have been together 12 years and still going strong.





With my ex he was very affectionate and loving. My problem was that he wasn't the best at providing for the family. And at that time in my life, I wanted more security. When I met him, it was after I had broken up with someone that I thought I was in love with and I think he was more of a rebound thing. He loved me and I loved that about him. There were things I didn't like about him before we got married and sometimes, I think you just hope things will change for the better, but if it weren't for our son, I honestly don't think I would of ever married him. And I don't think I was ever ';really'; in love with him because now I know what true love feels like.





I never went into that relationship KNOWING it would last forever or really KNOWING anything. For me, I really rushed into things. I did get two gorgeous boys out of it and have learned a very valuble lesson about taking things slow and making sure it's right.





I have learned that nothing is what you expect or hope it to be. I have learned that only we can make the necessary changes to do what is best for us and I have learned from my mistakes and I hope he has as well.
My fiance and I are getting married next year after 6 years of dating. To many, that is too long. To us, it was just the right amount of time to make sure it was right for us and getting to know each other beyond the typical honeymoon stage, which is where a lot of people fail. You have to get to KNOW someone before you marry them.


I have the right to know EVERYTHING about the man I'm going to marry, and the same for him, hence, taking how ever long it takes to do so.
First of all people DO change. Im married, my husband and I got married back in 02, before that we were together for over 5yrs. He was a jerk back then before we married..went into military and people said if he is going to ever change for the better this will be when he does it cause military can do that to people, well he came out of boot camp and I honestly 110% thought he was changed, even through his letter's while there I seen a difference..so we got married, not too long into marriage I see things were the same. Was I stupid for thinking he changed..no. However I sure was stupid to get married so soon after thinking he had changed...should have waited longer too see the difference. Its a lesson learned for sure with me.Now were separated and im moving on, I dont think someone ever really knows someone 100%.