Fallen in love with someone other than your ';type';?men/women?

i have always had a certain ';type'; i prefer, and yes i am talking about looks, just a thing that attracts me. the man i eventually fell deeply in love with (on my third marriage) is a different race than i ever had, physically as far as height, weight, just anything the total oppostite of what i always wanted. yet i can say he is very handsome to me, more than anyone i have ever been with. i preferred tall slim, very good looking guys (yes i know shallow) and he is short, on the overweight side, but no guy looks as good as he does to me, i see his flaws but they make me love him even more. anyone ever felt this way and how did your partner deal with this? my husband has always had serious issues because of this and thats understandable.Fallen in love with someone other than your ';type';?men/women?
Don't judge a book by its cover and go 4 it.Fallen in love with someone other than your ';type';?men/women?
Good for you, thinking outside the box. I married a white guy, blue eyes, light brown hair, tall, and thin.





It did not work out. I am now married, for 20 years, to a short, stubby, Mexican-American man.





The thing about both the men? They have honor, loyalty, patence, and good humor. You could not ask for more than that. They also are both handsome, but totally in different ways, considering one was Scandanavian descent....





I really think that what is in the heart is a better judge than what is in the eyes.





Good luck with your choice. I'm sure you are happy, and that is the most wonderful things, isn't it?





Kate
it's so strange how we tend to fall for our ';type.'; my type is a blue eyed, light brown haired germanic guy. i learned via two failed marriages why i shouldn't fall for that type. somehow german-blooded people will hold a grudge against you for years on something you did that they never told you offended them, then whamo! the whole thing is entirely blown out of proportion, you don't know why they are hitting you even. being of mediterranean descent, we italians, greeks, moroccans, etc. let it loose immediately, blow up, tell them what it is that bothers us and then it is gone. no retained grudges. that is how i learned NOT to allow myself to fall for the same ';type.'; and consciously, i do not, because i will not get that close to them to begin with anymore: when a certain type has torn you to shreds you learn.





i do not like this typecasting thing at all. i don't like that humans don't stop to think that the physical aspect of a person is not what makes the person. men are particularly guilty of this: we, as humans, are VISUAL, more so than many species, so men (usually men, not women) choose some woman based on her looking the ';type'; that will boost only their egos: if he is with her in public, other men will admire her and then be envious of him, as well as respecting that he has this TV woman on his arm to show off in public... but what is their personal life like? so many men miss out on being loved because they choose by what they see and that is all.





typecasting humans is one of the worse characteristics of human interaction. he's a criminal because he is african american, but he's okay because he is dark, but from africa; all oriental men are brilliant and make good money; whites that are overweight are the social paraih to be avoided at all costs... it goes on and on and it is sickening.





one curious thing i wish to mention because humans are so damned VISUAL: babies respond better to a ';pretty'; mother. is this visual typecasting so imbued into our species that upon becoming an adult, you can't escape it??? how stupid.





when he loves you and you love him, what you may have disliked in his outward appearance actually becomes a visual delight to you as you go on. yes, when a person is judged by society as ';ugly,'; and meets up with his match, he is not ugly to her, he is very handsome. i.e., that big nose is compensated for by that smile that's so genuine and by his real and tender care for you.





it really all relates to communication. how well do you actually enjoy one another's company and why. communication takes work on both sides, but when you have it, outward appearance just does not matter.





so my question is this: why not begin to think differently? start here: s/he is a human being, worthy of respect for being one of us who has positive and negative parts, but you try to see if for you, her/his personality shines. then go from there instead of bypassing the one person that may love you all your life and stick by you through thick and thin even though s/he looks the way that they do: which is merely the genes from their ancestors that they happened to get in becoming a human being. that is all that looks are, nothing else.





would you hate your baby if s/he were born with a deformed face? no, that is impossible: all mothers fall in love with their babies and that baby is the most beautiful of all babies in the world. so why not allow yourself to look far deeper than skin deep when you try to hook up with someone as a companion?
in my opinion...if u really love him/her,u should not only bother for his/her exterior.....it doesn't fixed forever.....but u should urself...how much u love him/her?


would him/her is ur real love?
Well, good for you. And I am guessing lucky for him? Just let things be. He probably knows he's lucky to have you. You say you love him, just love him and forget everything else. My type is the golden boy, 6'2'; slim and muscular, blue eyes and blonde hair. But I've fallen for men shorter than me, of a different race - for instance, Asian. It truly is what is in a person's heart and mind that attracts you. I love to hear a love story, and I believe yours is true.
its true what they say 'looks arent everything,to me cliched as it may sound,real sexiness and true long term attraction come from really knowing who someone is,and loving them just for that
I think you have just fallen in love. When you fall in love everything about a person is beautiful no matter how flawed they are. Thats the great thing about being in love. Cherish it, its hard to find someone that you feel like that with, I hope he feels the same way about you.
yeah my husband is older than I am and nothing what I ezxpected I wanted in a man my first husband( mistake) was a small dark man my husband now is very white heavier and older but it makes me love him even more than ever
what matter is the inside(soul) not the outside (looks%26amp;Body)
That is the reason why there is so many failed marriages...they look for the looks! Don't get me wrong, looks is important but that should not be the basis of your relationship.