your ex is playing mind games with you. He's trying to bring you back down to his level. Stop all communication with him. Devote your time, thoughts %26amp; energy to your husband %26amp; marriage. You will regret it if you don't.I'm married, but I still can't get over my ex? How to get over your first love?
Hold everything... you got married and still had strong feelings for your ex!!!!
What is wrong with you!?
You made a new commitment get strong, and wholeheartedly stick to it!
Quit with your pity party!
Well, I really don't know where to start. Honestly you are keeping a relationship with him. For him to call you, text and email. You are sharing something. Do you really want him to stop, your actions saying other ways. Reality you and your husband will never be able to prosper b/c you won't let go. The fact that he don't respect you marriage says alot. You chose your husband and not him. Keep that in mind. Marriage is something strong and not to be played with. You took your vows. Look of Karma and a Godly marriage and see which one you hold between the both. Try counseling as well. I wish you the best.
well no one forgets their first love and thats life but if you can remind yourself that your second love is your first priority in a relationship then dont worry...people usually move on and when they dont then thats when they need help
You just want your cake and eat it. For god sake, why did you marry your husband. I think you are being most unfair to this wonderful man. Why are you still in touch with this creep? If he was that good why didn`t you marry him. It`s your husband I feel sorry for, still maybe one day he will realise, then where will you be?
You need counseling. Have you told your husband of your feelings and of your ex continuing to contact you? Have you also mentioned that you contacted him back?
Perhaps it's time to be honest with your husband. A 3 month marriage is ridiculous. You shouldn't have selfishly married someone when you clearly have issues.
You are being dishonest with everyone, and you are going to lose your husband because of your choices. Get it together before you have serious consequences. Do the right thing. Be honest with your husband, and if you are committed to your marriage, get your butt into therapy ASAP.
Your ex actually sounds like a psycho stalker, and for some weird reason you are getting off on that and flattered. If I am wrong, you need to change your phone number. He has no business contacting you, and you have no business enabling him to do so.
Emotion is making this a very complicated issue for you. In a nutshell, you basically need to make a choice and stick to it. If you choose the husband then you have to make an absolute break form the ex. If you don't you will neer get past this. If you choose the ex, be honest with the husband, leave him and face the consquences of that decision. It will be hard, bitter and painful to leave the husband but if you continue to dream of the ex, you are direspecting the husband. And simply put: if he is such a wonderful husband, why do you continue to pine for the ex? As wonderul as he may be, pining for the ex is making you a not at all wonderful wife.
Make a choice and allow everyone to get on with their lives.
change your cell number first. then take a sheet of paper and write all this on it. all that you said in your question put it in an envlope and seal it with a kiss and then burn it. yes burn it and tell yourself that you are no longer going to allow this man to ruin your great life. if you were seeing this in a movie you would tell the girl to just stop and love the one you are with. so do that . stop and love the one you are with. you would hate it if he was doing the same thing with his ex. so don't do this to him. he is your everything heart and soul. so forget about mr who gives a **** and stick with mr make your dreams come true. good luck
SIMPLE - you HAVE TO close the door!!! You spend HOURS thinking about, talking about, and wondering ';what if';..... just CLOSE THE DOOR! It is OVER, done, and SHOULD be finished!! Say GOOD BYE and put it to rest!
You are a VERY immature person, who lives in the past for NO GOOD REASON. You are ruining any chance there might be of being happy NOW by doing this. This is SELFISH on your part, as the PAST cannot be CHANGED. Leave it ALONE. It is your EXES fault he refuses to move on - let him wallow in himself and be unhappy - that is HIS choice, do not be stupid and continue to follow in his footsteps.
for you....stop talking, chatting, texting seeing, emailing or anything else with this guy. You are married and this has disaster written all over it.
for him...he is stalking you...be afraid...be very afraid.
I can't say it's okay to think about your ex but I can say it's wrong to communicate with him! As long as you keep him around it is going to be hard for your marriage to grow or get any kind of strength because your husband will be getting compared to him! Why marry him if you love your ex? The best thing to do is cut off all ties to your ex it's the only way
Poor guy you married. You don't know what you want. You sound like that girl from Georgia that ran away before the marriage. To bad for your husband you didn't do that.
Are you even aware that you wrote, ';I'm still in love with him.';? Yes, you said your ex knows that, but by writing it, you are stating outright that it's true.
Quite frankly, I hesitate to advise you what to do, because it's highly unlikely that you will take my advice. My advice is that you seriously ramp up your efforts to end contact. First, change phone numbers and block his emails -- add his addies to your spam blocker so that you never even see them.
Second, tell on yourself to your husband immediately. Tell him that you have been communicating with your ex and that you want badly to stop. Ask him to help you stop. Give him your email password, and your permission to check your phone any time he thinks it's a good idea. Give him access to your online cell phone records.
Meanwhile, keep a log of every call, text, and email. Update it every time he contacts you. Then, if the methods above don't work, take your log to court and file a restraining order. If he then violates the restraining order, notify the police.
I'm sorry, but I am a firm believer in the sanctity of marriage. You obviously can't control yourself, so drastic action is called for.
I am also a realist. Chances of you taking my advice? I'm thinking they're less than 1%.
I am a married man, and your story gives me a queasy feeling in my stomach.
U never actually can get over ur first true love. If u do then that person was never really ur first true love. That feeling of true love never goes away cuz it felt so good. U just need to remember it can never be, u are married. Good luck though that's gotta suck.
Exact replacements just don't come along unless you go to Walmart. They're a dime a dozen there. That isn't what you wanted or you would have gone for it. Passion for lust and passion for love can get really confused. The only way to sort it out is to look at the bigger picture. One day you'll want to have kids, and you will. You will still see in your mind those lusty times and might even long for them, that's normal. Truly good men are hard to find.
But, when you bear the children of the man you're married to, you'll know, beyond the shadow of a doubt, why the warrior woman that you are, chose as you did. All the proof will be in the 'pudding'. Don't break his heart and create another jade.
Trust your instincts Baby Girl. Let go and let God.
Okay...1. your ex is a stalker and you need to file a restraining order.
2. jesus ******* christ tell a cop this, don't write 15 pages in a yahoo forum.
3. you're still in the teenage thing of 'he's my first love and I hate him so much because he's a loser but I'm attracted to the bad boy' That's your weakness. And yes, your husband deserves a wife that doesn't fantacize about her ex.
At this point I think you're just being selfish and insensitive because you want to hold onto the feeling of the old romance. But if you're willing to cut the cord altogether and never look back, you REALLY need to start taking the steps. File a restraining order, change your cell phone number, make it so he has no way of finding you, stop paying any mind to him and focus on your husband. Fantacising is almost cheating if its to that degree because it's taking time and energy out of your current relationship. Just sabotage from the inside.
It sounds like you didn't actually have much of a break from men in your entire dating life, so chances are you married well before you were ready for that kind of responsible commitment. I hope you work this out. But you've really messed with the lines here and you really need to get on about straightening them out.
you never get over your frist love but you must move on and you will stop thinking of them so much asyou go on with your wife its not easy at frist but it does get there as time pass on but you gotta be willing
you never will get over your first love. you can get through it but not over it. it will get better. and if your marriage isn't working maybe you try getting help. but you cant lie to yourself, if you love him and are more comfortable with him you need to sort things in your mind and figure out what it is your looking for and what it is you want. i hope all goes well.
You got married too young.
When you are ready to be married, and are mature with a decent person, ';ex's'; no longer are a concern for you.
its always hard to get over your first love but you've obviously moved on so you need to forget him don't let him try and ruin anything that you have got with your new husband. you say you love him and he's everything you've wanted so you need to forget him and be true to your husband.
Forget yr ex. Else you are likely to cheat on your husband in time to come
He was your first love and you will never completely get over him,but yes can go on. You are still young and i know it is hard not to wonder if he would've ever changed . Believe me he wouldn't have. I fell in love with my first husband at 14 and was on and off. Then we got married when I was 19 and by 21 I had my daughter. He started cheating and yes doing drugs and selling and other stuff. The cheating started after my daughter was born and when i caught him cheating the abuse started. I had alot of hope he would change and then my son was born and it got worse for a while and in 1999 i left him and never went back. I've been with my honey for 8 years now and yes i have wondered if my first would've ever changed,but all the girlfriends he has had after me didn't last very long cause he did the same to them so he never changed and never will. We will always have that little thing saying what if, look at what you got now. Would you trade it in for a what if ? Heck no I wouldn't and never will. One thing I've learned is people are going to be who they are and either we except them as them or we find someone who we will except who they are. There are way to many people on this planet to just settle for second best.
I'll save you the what-if's...if you and your ex ever tried to work things out, you would miss your awesome husband like crazy!! I'm glad that you can see what you have right now and don't wish to ruin things with your husband. I had an ex like that also...who would always say **** like that in the hopes that we would one day be together...all while he was dating the same person he cheated on me with lol. It just came to the point that I completely ignored him and asked him very sternly not to contact me anymore. The years have a way of changing people.
You are an idiot to have any contact with your ex. His constant picking about how you two are meant for each other is manipulative.
I think you should never have gotten married until you were completely finished with the ex.
You made this bed. Get your **** together. Sounds very immature... TOO immature to be married at all.
The solution to your problems is to truthfully answer your ';what if'; questions with the honest truth. A guy who has no goals in life is an attraction to your wanting to rescue. Trust me, his continuing to call you and text you even though he knows you have moved on and are married is not because he loves you. It is because he has no respect for you as a woman and instead views you as a pushover that he can eventually convince to his way of thinking. His calling you indicates he knows how weak you are and that sooner or later you will give in. He has no respect for you as him doing this is discounting your marriage. The same way you are attracted to him because of your need to rescue, he is attracted to you because of his need to be rescued. Stop this before it escalates into destroying your marriage.
Them first loves can haunt you for the rest of your life. Put him far back in your thoughts and keep him there, you know hes not going to change. You have made the choice for a better life don't back up or contact him. I know how hard this will be for you but; your not the only one in this mess. We are here right by your side yes its hard but do this for you. I can hear you saying you are better off with out him, stick to your standards now don't back up.
maybe its just a phase you have a great hubby dont ruin that
concentrate on your now husband he's everything you wanted-right
your ex is a baggage to you... you are right to have left him cos' he'll never bring you any happiness...
once you decide to drop this baggage, you will realise even if he continues to text you or even pop up at your door-step, you just have no more feelings for him...
don't be bothered by what your 'ex' said in that 'you two will always be together'... he's just hitting onto your conscience...
if your ex really can't live without you, then why is he still living now? it is all a bunch of lies...
you have moved on, so just dop this baggage cos' it is not worth carrying at all..
live your happy marriage... not everyone is as blessed as you... value your husband...
U made a choice to marry ur husband and not the other guy. Now stick with that choice! there is no question. of course everyone says what if...u wouldnt be human if u didnt..but in order for u to have a happy life u need to start appreciating what u have...write down on a piece of paper why u are so thankful to have married ur husband..and why u love him. then write on another piece of paper..why the other guy was so bad for u.
sometimes when u get it down on paper and can actually see it...it makes a huge difference....BUT make sure u get rid of these papers after u are done!!
how does your husband feel about this ? did you tell him you still love your ex ? you have told everyone on the Internet and failed to share this with your husband ? if you were my wife and i found this information out about you, you would not have to decide what to do because i would do it for you ! you describe your ex as a man who could give you nothing ? and you wanted more out of life ? your confused and your wrong to hide this from your husband.........
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