Friday, August 20, 2010

SO hurt!!!! Is it possible to spoil your husband? Why doesn't he understand?

My husband and I have been in a fight last night and he has said things that have really really saddened, hurt, and upset me beyond belief. I feel really sick to my stomach right now and have been crying my eyes out for the past half hour...!!

My husband is a total neat freak and last night got frustrated with me over something stupid (that I put tissues in my sweater that get put in the laundry that causes a mess) and proceeded to go off on a tyrade about how I am...';SELFISH';. That comment really drove a knife through my heart because if there is one thing that I am NOT it is selfish!!!!!!!! I do everything for him, whether it is cooking big meals everyday of the week (I am a full time grad student), giving him advise, comforting him, helping him through his problems, waking up at 5 in the morning with blood shot eyes to make sure he has a nice big breakfast before his exam, constantly thinking about him, worrying about him, I could go on and on!!! There are many wives that don't do all that I do but unfortunately he just doesn't recognize it. I really think I have spoiled him rotten with my love and sincerity and it is coming back to hurt me.

I have put up so much with his abusive mother and family; my family has stepped in and done beyond what ANY family would be required to do. My mother has supported him emotionally by spending hours on the phone with him comforting him, encouraging him, giving us a place to stay for free for months on end. They gave him their nicest car so that he could use it to drive to school. They have bought us endless amount of food and groceries. They are always so kind and welcoming. Especially in light of the completely opposite treatment we get from the other side.

Today, he got into an argument about something petty then all of a sudden (and I don't remember how this came about) he started to talk about how I, like my family, make his life ';difficult'; (huh?!?!? how???) and he started giving these silly, petty examples like how when he was trying to plan a vacation nobody went along with it and he ended up wasting hours of his time and in the end it fell through (despite the fact that nobody asked him to do this and I told him it wasnt possible because my grandmother was very ill - she eventually died during the time the vaca was planned for:(.

Anyway, the thing I don't GET is how my husband is so stupid to not see all that we have done for him. I really think I have spoiled him with unconditional love, support and feel so betrayed. I don't know if I can get over his words and somehow, I don't think he cares?

I have always known that he was the type of person that didn't ';get'; people to well or was one of those people w not the greatest social skills - but now I am seeing this trait come back to haunt me as I almost feel like my own husband of a year and a half doesn't know me!!!!!!

Someone help, please!SO hurt!!!! Is it possible to spoil your husband? Why doesn't he understand?

sounds like your husband and mine might be related.

I had an arranged marraige. My husband married me for my money and passport, although i was too naive to realise for several years. It took him a few yrs to get his qualifications to practise as a dr here in the uk, his dad died a few yrs ago and he is the oldest son, so i spent a few years sending money back to his family and supporting him with driving lessons, exam fees etc etc. He spoilt his family rotten and built them a house over in pakistan with MY money, my dad bought us a house and refurbished it top to bottom (beautiful 4 bedroom detached). Now all he and his family can say is you haven't done anything for us,we could have got to where we are today without you, he doesn't realise sooooo many drs from overseas live for yrs in crappy hospital accomodation and can't afford the luxuries he has gotten used to.

I agree you have to train them from the start, the problem is when you are newly married and in love you would do everything and anything in the world for your spouse.

I'm not sure what o advise you to do from here except stop all the stuff you and your family have been doing for him. He is an ungrateful jerk and only until you have removed those favours he will not learn. Good luck.SO hurt!!!! Is it possible to spoil your husband? Why doesn't he understand?
If you have tried everything and everything has failed, then get a divorce.
I like the first answerer! Go get a man who can take care of himself. You don't need a baby that needs to be taken care of by your family. I'm sorry but your husband is a loser and you deserve better.
I'm sorry.I hope things work out for you but I think there will be a divorce in your future and I hope your parents don't spend anymore money on this loser.You need to get on with your life and let him be happy alone.Good luck.
He is the selfish one. He sounds like he must have been terribly spoilt as a child and now he expects that from you. Please don't think this is your problem because it isn't, it is his. You have given him your love support and unconditional love, and that isn't enough for him and unfortunately until he realises that he is the one with the problem, things will never change and will probably get worse. You have to either leave him and suggest counceling to reconcile, or if he won't do that, just go. You %26amp; your family sound too nice a people to be treated like this. Your lovely parents probably see all this but will support you to the end if it is your choice, so ask them truly what THEY think and don't be afraid of their answer and respect them for their honesty. I have been where you are now!!

Much love

Here is my suggestion you need to leave for about a week, leave him be, you will realize that you do not need him, you sound like a great woman to me, I wish my wife was just like you, even if I do not know you, you sound very sincere. GOOD LUCK!
I can honetly see were your coming from but men are not made like us woman we are much more loving@mothering maybe you need to be less mothering@understanding sit down and talk to him tell how he makes you feel let him know you will not put up with his childish behaviors reasure him that you love and that you will be by his side but that you have feeling too.
A husband should be understanding and tolerant to things he doesn't like, not fly off the handle! You deserve a man who respects you and who loves you for the person you are. It it possible to spoil your husband, but I wouldn't put any blame on yourself for not being perfect. He needs to be more tolerant and understanding that you are a normal woman not superwoman. Sit down and speak with him about how you're feeling - mention it in ';I'; manner - ';I feel'; ';I am hurt when'; try not to use ';You'; it puts them on the defensive. Good luck! Be more gentle with yourself! You deserve it!
listen sweetheart, u seemed to have married my ex. sorry hun just joking!!! these type of men r like worms who only suck blood and don't appreciate anything. talk to him if he doesn't change his attitude i would say leave him before u plan to have kids etc. i did and trust me it only feels good. u don't deserve this. a man who loves u will give equally to the relationship. goodluck

How can you overcome infidelity?

If your husband had always been honest and caring and loving but after 2 decades fell in love with someone else and told you and reassured you that he still loves you would you forgive him and let him continue this relationship?

Could you do anything to win him back?what would that be?

If divorce is not an option what would you do?How can you overcome infidelity?
if it were the one and only time he did this, and he ended the relationship with the other woman i would do my best to forgive but i would not forget. he should be the one winning back your love, u got it backwards. if divorce weren't an option u would have to find a way to restore the marriage providing he were willing to end it with her. i would never allow my husband to continue lying and cheating on me because sometimes the end result is that they want a divorce anyway so they can be with the other woman. if u have lost everything u still have your dignity and should not let your husband continue cheating on u. don't play second to any other woman.How can you overcome infidelity?
I wouldn't have gotten married if divorce wasn't an option, so I can't give you an answer as far as that is concerned. What I can tell you is that I definitely wouldn't allow his relationship to continue.

What would you do if this was YOUR life? (long + pics!)?

It's a baby name game! If you aren't going to answer my questions right, then don't bother answering at all.

1. Your name is Elizabeth Sophia Jones. You’re 24 years old and a successful journalist working for a very popular newspaper. One day, while setting up interviews for your latest story, you meet a very handsome and professional man named Matthew Samuel Holden. What is his career?

2. You and Matt get to know each other over the next several months. You’re in love with him, and he’s in love with you. One day, while having dinner at your parents house, he pops the question, and of course you say yes! You are absolutely thrilled and immediately start planning your wedding. What does it look like? How many people are invited? What are the theme colors? Describe your wedding in detail!

Here’s a Pic of you and your husband:…

3. It’s been 2 years since you and Matt got married, and you finally decide that you are ready for children. You guys try for a while but nothing happens. However, lately you have been feeling really tired and sick. On the day of your 3rd anniversary, you find out that you are pregnant. You decide to tell your husband in the most special way. How do you tell him?

4. Six months have passed, and you are getting ready to go to the hospital to have your baby. You and Matt decided not to find out the sex of the baby, but instead picked out a few names that each of you like. If it’s a girl, her name will start with an H and her middle name will be the same as yours. If it’s a boy, his name will start with a B, and he will have the same middle name as Matt. CONGRATULATIONS! You have just had a beautiful baby boy. What is his name?

Your new son:…

5. Two years have passed, and you are loving being a mommy. Your son is getting so big and quite a handful. However, you decide that you are ready to take on the challenge, and have another one. It doesn’t happen that easily, but after almost a year of trying, you find out that you are pregnant. Months later, you give birth to another beautiful baby boy. He looks just like his older brother did when he was born. His first name must start with an A, and you can choose his middle name.

Your new son:…

6. Well, it’s been a few years, and you and Matt are the proud parents of two boys. Your oldest son loves to play baseball and ride dirt bikes. He is like his father in everyway. Your youngest son is a bit quieter and is shy. He likes to play ball with his older brother, but he loves to help his mommy. One day, while grocery shopping with your two boys, you start to feel very faint and sick. You end up passing out and are rushed to the hospital. When you wake up, your husband is talking to the doctor outside your door. You hear him say the word “pregnant.” Months go by, and your pregnancy hasn’t been easy. You are always sick, and out of energy. You go for an ultrasound and find out that you are pregnant with twins! You end up going into labor early and needed to have an emergency c-section. Your identical twin daughters are born pre-mature, but healthy. You want their middle names to rhyme, and you use your favorite names as their first names.

Your twin daughters:…

7. Your husbands’ sister, Alyssa Grace, just passed away from complications of birth, leaving behind a newborn daughter. She was a single mother, and she never got the chance to name her. You and your husband decide to adopt the newborn. What do you name her? (You must honor her mother in some way).

Here’s your new niece:…

8. Your family of seven is complete. You have five beautiful children who are happy and healthy. But….you fall pregnant again…with another set of twins! You didn’t even think that was possible. Seven months later, you give birth to a fraternal set of twins, a boy and girl. The boy must have an old-fashioned name, but a popular middle name. The girl must have a flower first name, and a color middle name.

Your family:

Boy one: Your oldest son loves to play guitar. He is popular at school and has been dating a girl named Kailey for 2 years. He does like to party a lot, but you trust him to make the right decisions.

Here’s what he looks like now:…

Boy two: Your second son is very smart. He loves to read, but also loves to play baseball.

Here’s what he looks like now:…

Twin Girls: Your twin girls are the best of friends. They love fashion, and find it funny to dress alike sometimes and confuse their friends.

Here’s what they look like: http://www.istWhat would you do if this was YOUR life? (long + pics!)?
1. Lawyer

2. We have a huge wedding with all our family and friends. My bridesmaid dresses were red.

3. I wrap the pregnancy test up with a baby outfit in a box, and give it to him as a gift.

4. Braydon Samuel

5. Adam Gregory

6. Vivianne Bailey %26amp; Isabella Hailey

7. Addison Grace

8. Benjamin Riley %26amp; Lilyanna Scarlett

So I have: (w/ Nicknames)

Bray, Adam, Viv, Izzy, Addie, Ben, %26amp; LillyWhat would you do if this was YOUR life? (long + pics!)?

2.Outside Fall Wedding, close friends %26amp; family invited, autumn colors.

3.Candlelit Dinner

4.Braxton Ryan

5. Ayden Rydell

6. Addisyn Riane %26amp; Rowyn Diane

7.Grace Lynn---nickname Gracie

8.Atticus Liam %26amp; Lilly Crimson
1. Business man

2. 100 people summer wedding light blue colors white dress.

3. You make him dinner with a baby theme

4. Bradley Samuel (Brad)

5. Allan Jacob (All)

6.Kayley Diann and Hailey Callie

7.Melissa Grace (Mel)

8.Elwood Jacob and Chrysanthemum Violet (Mum)

250 people, all white and black, very traditional and classic wedding, in the catholic church.

We go back to the church every year for our anniversary mass, and I tell him after mass.

Brendan Samuel

Aidan Michael

Audrey Riley

Amber Kiley

Alyssa Leigh

Lillian Hazel

Evan Collin

(fyi the last link dosent work)

That was fun :]
1 - Company Director

2 - Big wedding held in Summerhill House Hotel in County Wicklow, Ireland (… The theme is red and white. Guests are friends and family.

3 - We go out to dinner and I tell him I have a surprize for him and then I tell him about the baby

4 - Brendan Samuel (Bren)

5 - Alexander Lee (Alex)

6 - Rosalie May %26amp; Elizabeth Fay (Rose %26amp; Libby)

7 - Charlotte Grace (Lottie)

8 - Nathaniel Aaron %26amp; Holly Saffron (Nathan %26amp; Hol)
2. 200 guests and it is white with red roses

3. Like pictionary

4.Xavier Samuel Holden

5. Anthony Muse Holden

6. Audrey Renee Zaida Tenea Holden

7. Alyssa Grace Holden

8. Lillian (Lily) Violet and Caden Matthew Holden\
1. He's a Pilot :)

2. Urm, its a fairly small wedding in a gorgeous Georgian or Edwardian venue - not a religious ceremony. Just family and friends are invited and its all very elegant, nothing bold or brash :) Theme colours maybe deep purple or blue with champagne, something pretty.

3. I just tell him... after a romantic meal out and when lying under the stars :)

4. Blue Samuel

5. Alec Peter

6. Aoife Rae, and Ciara Mae

7. Grace Alicia

8. Craig Michael, and Lily Sienna

Haha this was long and kinda hard, but fun :)
1. Actor

This is him:……

2. It's a church wedding, with the reception in a marquee filled with fairy lights.…

Theme colours are ivory and white. 200 people aroundabout.

We dance to ';Hold you in my arms'; by Ray Lamontagne…

3. I take him out for a walk, until we find a beautiful spot where we can watch the sunset over the ocean... And I say ';Babe.. I don't know how to tell you this.. so I'll just blurt it out. I love you. .... We're pregnant!!';

4. Blake Samuel

5. Aiden Robert

6. Indiana Rose

Isabella Rose

7. Sienna Grace

8. Edward James

Lily-Rose Fuschia
1. Actor

2. Its a small wedding only my family aand my closets friends, so like 23 people. Its in the little white church i go to and my dress is vintigae style with a veil. THe Flowers are ilacs and the bm dresses are red.

3. Well we just boguht a house and we've been fixing it up... its almost done so i say something like ';There's too much dust here, a baby could get asthma!

4. Brandon Samuel

5.Aaron James

6. Louisa Shawna

May Donna

7. Grace Alyssa (i like it that way better...)

8. Vincent Jacob and Fern Scarlett
1) he is a brain surgeon

2) like a wedding? the inside of a church. gorgeous. however many people i know? pink %26amp; yellow. that's enough detail. i'm wearing white.

3) i make him a cake saying 'congratulations ';daddy'; '

4) Harper Sophia. Bradford Samuel

5) Anderson Ray

6) Ella Peyton, Emily Kayten

7) Alyssa Grace

8) Jacob Lee, Samantha Rose
1. doctor

2. outdoors, small, simple

3. put the ultrasound pic on the fridge and explain when he asks

4. Brennan Samuel

5. Asa Jordan

6. Aiyanna Shaye and Abrianna May

7. Maleena Grace

8. Byron Michael and Jasmine Azura ( Bleu...origin persian)
-a film director

-on the beach right before the sunset. theme is casual and island feeling. no one has to sweat at my wedding or wear shoes. bridesmaids will wear tealish color like the ocean. only family and close friends invited.

-take him to where we had our first date

-Benjamin Matt

-Abraham River

-isbella kailey %26amp; paloma bailey

-Grace Savanah Raine

-Willow Indigo %26amp; Jasper Leon

good one!


In a church, colors are white and blue, lots of people invited

give him a box with a pacifire in it (i cant spell lol)

Girl- Hannah Star

Boy- Brennan Matt

Aiden Samual

Mia Kailee and Isabella Bailee

Amanda Grace

The boy must have an old-fashioned name, but a popular middle name. The girl must have a flower first name, and a color middle name. Lilly Scarlett and Johnathon Kaden
1. he's a neurosurgeon

2. it's an outdoor wedding the colors are bright green and white and it's only close friends and family.

3. i get him a onesy that says i love my daddy

4. Bennett Samual

5. Aaden James

6. Faith Noelle and Leah Joelle

7. Avery Alyssa Grace

8. Zachariah Jacob and Violet Aquamarine

so i have Ben, Aaden, Faith, Leah, Avery, Zach, and Violet
1. He is a Journalist as well, we are both fighting for the same story.

2. Our wedding would be outside in the fall, surronded by nature. It would be a small wedding and I would use very natural colors, maybe browns, tans, yellows and golds.

3. I tell him by taping the pregnancy test to the front door!

4. Brenton Samuel Holden

5. Aaron Matthew Holden

6. Brynn Hayley Holden, Ella Bailey Holden

7. Gracelynn Marie Holden

8. Lucas Scott Holden, Lillianna Scarlett Holden

Friends and Family ( 300-400) cake is white wiht pink polka dots and colors are pink and white Dress is strapless and white long and tux is white with pink under shirt

Scrabble while eating dinner and having a camp out in the living room :)

Brandon Samual

Alexander Matthew

Olivia May

Peyton Ray

Alyssa Grace ( in honor of her mom )

Paul Jacob

Daisy Violet
1. Professional Baseball Player

2. A traditional southern, rural wedding, in a country field. Colors are Autumn colors, especially reds and golds. About 175 guests, with my best friends and sister as the bridesmaids in cowboy boots.

3. Tell him during a game, up on the scoreboard.

4. Brayden Samuel Holden

5. Ace Noah Holden

6. Ava Savannah Holden and Alexis Hannah Holden

7. Blakesly Grace Holden

8. Nathaniel ';Nate'; Tristan Holden and Lily Scarlett Holden
1.He is a journalist ! This is him :

2.Our wedding is at Oak Alley Plantation :…

There are about 500 people invited.

The theme colors are red,gold,and white.

There are gold ribbons tied to the chairs

I arrive in a white


My dress is huge and white with embroidary all over:…

It was a dream wedding !

3.When he gets home from work, there will be lots of rose petals that lead to a bathtub:…

We will get in the bathtub and there will be a soap bar that says ';I'm Pregnant !'; :…

4. The baby's name is Bryce Samuel Holden ! This is our beautiful baby :…

5.His name is Austyn Brock. This is him :…

6.The twin's names are Larsyn BreAnne and Stella JulieAnne. These are our twin girls :…

7.Her name is Morgan-Grace Alyssa. This is our neice :…

8.The boys' name is John Cayden and the girl's name is Lilleigh Teal. These are our twins :…
1. he's an extremely successful pediatrician =)

2. my wedding is huge! there are all kinds of elegant decorations and beautiful additions. the bridesmaid dresses are purple.

3. i write him a special letter telling him what he means to me and how I could only do some things in life because of him, and then after he reads it, I'd tell him.

4. Brayden Samuel

5. Alexander Blake (Alex)

6. Emma Rylie and Cara Natalie

7. Melissa Grace

8. Lily Sienna and Benjamin Joshua (Ben)

Hope this helped and best wishes =)

Fun game!
1. a sports star

2. around 70 people are there, its on the beach, the bridesmaids wear i light gold colour dress, im wearing a white dress nothing too fancy

3. on our 2 year aniversary,

4. Bryant Samual

5. Ashton Farren

6. Lola Lee and Lucia Dee

7. Grace Aylssa

8. Harry Xavier and Poppy Rose
1. Doctor

2. We have a HUGE wedding the color theme was Dark purple and black was the accent color. all my bridesmaids had different dresses.

3. I make him a dinner with Baby corn, baby shrimp, anything with baby in it then tell him

4. Braxton Matthew

5. Avery Jayden

6. Riley Addison and Sariah Madison (pn Ser-Ry-Uh)

7. Kyrie Alyssa-Grace

8. Griffin Conner and Lilly Scarlett
1. Pilot

2. We get married in a hotel with quite alot of guests. Bridesmaid dresses are light pink

3. Talk about our family hypothetically then say its happening. i dunno, im not great at thinking up these things lol

4. Ben Samuel

5. Aaron Michael

6. Madeleine Hannah, Callie Anna

7. Layla Alyssa

8. Matthew Cameron, Lily Emerald
1. Teacher. I dont know why.

2. outside in front of a lake, black and white, just close friends and family invited.

3. i would go get the mail and put a letter in it that i wrote ';from'; the baby.

4. Bennet Samuel

5. Adin Maddox

6. Ella Maya, Ariana Kaya

7. Isabel Grace

8. Eli Jake and Liliana Ruby
1. Doctor

2. it is at a beach when the sun is setting and there is a wedding arch tht is covered in white flowers. all our friends and family are welcome to come. the theme colors are white, lilac, and cream

3. i tell him at a romantic dinner

4. Bryan Samuel

5. Aiden Kyle

6. Gabrielle Mae and Madelyn Shae

7. Leila Grace

8. Joseph Christopher and Rose Indigo

so i have Bryan,Aiden,Gabrielle,Madelyn,Leila,Jose… and Rose
1. Teacher

2. Nice, simple, classic wedding with family and close friends. Colors- black and white

3. I'd just tell him after a nice, romantic dinner.

4. Benjamin Samuel

5. Aaron Bryce

6. Madeleine Sarah %26amp; Abigail Karah

7. Allison Grace

8. Timothy Noah %26amp; Iris Violet
1.) surgeon

2.) We have our wedding in a small seaside French church. The church is decorated with colorful roses with white ribbons. After the ceremony, we have dinner at a local restaurant (same decoration). In the evening we have a large party with all our friends. =)

3.) I bake a cake with the top saying 'Baby on the Way'.

4.) Brody Samuel Holden

5.) Aden Daniel Holden

6.) Piper Hanna Holden and Lola Anna Holden

7.) Violet Grace Holden

8.) Jacob Riley Holden and Lilly Scarlett Holden
1. Matt is the spokesperson for the local Exxon plant.

2. It looks very simple. About 100 people are there, and the theme colors are black and white with little bits of red and pink.

3. I'd call him at work, wish him a happy anniversary, and then say, right before he hangs up, ';Hey, I was gonna wait till you got home, but, um... you're gonna be a daddy in __________ month!';

4. Brendon Matthew

5. Andrew Paul

6. Katherine Gabriella %26amp; Brooklyn Isabella

7. Hope Alyssa

8. Eugene Andre %26amp; Rose Bleu
1. Doctor

2. the wedding would be in the spring outside in a gazebo. We would have all our family, friends, co-workers there with their families (a lot of people) the theme would lavender and sky blue (the brides maids dresses would be blue and so would the flower girls. the flowers would be lavender and white)

3. I would get a gift box and put something related to a baby (a hat, socks, a shirt) and wrap it. Then when he got home I would surprise him with the present and make him open it. Then-hopefully he would get it.

4. Benjamin Samuel (Ben)

5. Austin James

6. Natalie Jay and Kennedy Rae

7. Genevieve Grace

8. Thomas Jayden and Lilly Rose (rose counts as a color right?)
1. forensic scientist

2.2nd one……… WHAT should its name be......

4.Byran samuel (sam)

5.Arron James (aari)

6.Veronica Fae and Willow Shae

(Ver) (Willa)

7.Alisa grace


8.Luke Jacob (lukie)


Rose Violet ( rosie or vivi)


the last link does not work
1. Lawyer

2. It's not huge but not really small. Family and friends come. The color theme is Tiffany blue

3. I take him out to dinner and tell him there

4. Braden Matthew

5. Andrew Robert

6. Molly Kay and Alexandra May

7. Grace Brianna

8. Joseph Parker and Cara Scarlett (Cara from caraway)

Braden, Andrew, Molly, Allie, Grace, Joey, and Cara
1. Architect

2. Small everything. Wedding party, dress, etc...

3. At a baseball game...

4. Benjamin Samuel ';Benny';

5. Aleksai Theodore ';Alek';

6. Ingrid Lira %26amp; Genevieve Mira ';Jenny';

7. Mollie Grey

8. Saul Milo %26amp; Fern Ruby

My mom is telling my sister's lies about my husband....?

My little sister who is 15 called me and told me my mom was telling her ';if you stay at your sister house (she means my house) that the brother in law (my husband) will fall in love with the sister and rape her.'; I can not believe she was telling this to my three younger sisters of 13, 15 %26amp; 18. Two weeks ago my 15 yr old sister wanted to come spend the night so I can trim her hair so she did and now I think my mom is upset that I did that but my mom does not come to me and tell me anything instead she says stuff like this. When my sister told me this I got upset and I was going to confront my mom and ask why she say these thing to my little sister. But my little sister said not to because my mom will know she told me and will get mad at her. Sometime I just can not believe what my mom says...I am starting to not even want anything to do with my mom anymore. How an my mom be so ungly and heartless....My mom is telling my sister's lies about my husband....?
confront her or be quiet....what kind of person is ur husband any motive for her to say this....My mom is telling my sister's lies about my husband....?
the first thing you have to do is make sure your sisters know that your mom is lying. even if they believe one thing, that can mess up your relationship with them. The you need to confront your mother and tell her if she doesnt accept your husband than you cant accept her as a motherly figure in your life.

I'd agree with your mom in this case

not that your husband would rape her but why would you want

your hot behind little sisters in your husband in your house.

men are very terriorial and even though he might not have sex with her the chance to see her in her pajamyjams is always a second thought. and girls these days dress very liberaly

so... my advice would be to keep the chearleaders out and the only woman that should be walkin around the house in her panties is YOU!!!
I think you're mom is just upset that you're married and out of the house. I just moved out with my best friend and my mom talks **** on me to my younger sisters too. Our relationship has totally fallen apart because of it, she even gets mad at them now if I take them to the movies. I'm 21 and they're 14 and 17. Even tho your sisters think your mom will get mad at them if you confront her you need to do it. First talk to your sister and explain to her how hurt you are that your mom would say something like that about you and explain to her that you're going to talk to her about it and then just do it.

It won't be an easy conversation but your mom shouldn't be talking **** on your or your husband to your sisters
Family is so hard to deal with sometimes because we dont get to pick them.... This is really awful and it sounds like this may be a pattern with you mom. I saw if this is the first time something like this has happened then confront her and try to work through it. If it is a pattern then I think you should confront her to tell her that you are cutting off contact with her. Just becuase she is your mother does not mean that she should be allowed to treat you and your husband like this. I feel like sometimes it is neccasary to cut the toxic people out of your life.... if you don't you will most likely be in for continued heartache. Good luck.
I think that it's worth confronting your mom...i don't want to be rude but there is a possibility that your sister could be lying...(the possibility is slim though considering the circumstances).

I am married and i love my husband but recently we have had a terrible thing happen in our lives.?

how do we keep our marriage from falling apart. our daughter was 23 and killed by a speeding driver we have another daughter 21 and 4 grandchildren and another one the way. our daughter that was killed was also having a son. her husband and three yr old son now lives with us. The question i need answered is why do i feel so distant from him. Some of the stupid stuff he has done in 27 yrs really now is getting to me. I guess before i looked over it. but now i see how fast things in your life can change. why do i feel like i don't love this man anymore.I am married and i love my husband but recently we have had a terrible thing happen in our lives.?
Sweetie, please don't do anything else that would only be another tragedy. You really need your husband right now. Take all the others advice and just get some grief counseling. You just need time. You deserve it. You don't want to wake up one day and realize that you not only lost your daughter, but tore your family up, too. You will be okay. I have been thru a terrible tragedy myself. I promise you the dust will settle and you will be able to feel again. Take care and God bless you.I am married and i love my husband but recently we have had a terrible thing happen in our lives.?
Sounds to me like this horrible event has caused you to seriously reconsider if this life is what you want. When something unexpected happens its normal to doubt yourself or others...maybe deep down inside, you feel regret for things you haven't done in your life, realizing that life is too short to hold back. Also, your children link you and your husband together if all else fails, and if something happens to them, you start to reconsider your marital arrangement. Some people think of a tragedy like this as punishment for doing something against their better judgement. I'm not saying this is the case for you, just offering different possibilities. Anyhow, life has funny ways of drawing our attention to important matters...perhaps this was natures way of waking you up emotionally...maybe you were meant to rationalize your life and decide if you would feel regret if you were faced with death tomorrow, over things you never did. On another note, this death could just be screwing with your emotions and part of you feels like you should detach from those you love, so that it doesn't hurt as much if something were to happen to them? Just some ideas to ponder. Only you can answer this question with time and some serious consideration.
Unfortunately, grief can pry us away from one another just as easily as it can push us together. Give him time to grieve in his own way while you grieve in yours; don't forget to love and support him (and show him that) during this and tell him that you understand. Grief takes time. If after a few months things aren't lighter, you may wish to consult a grief counselor.
Please go to grief counseling because a tragedy like this can make us push the ones we love away and when your over the grief of your daughter. The damage to your marriage my be unrepairable. Remember he is hurting too and you really need each other more now then before.

I am sorry for your loss and wish you all the best with your husband.
This is a very stressful situation. You are experiencing a tremendous amount of grief. At a time like this don't shut your family out, or your daughters family out. Nothing can replace your loss, but with time and love you can heal. I would advise talking to a grief counselor, marriage counselor, or your clergy. Take Care.
I have never lost a child, but I have witnessed my best friends little brother passing and what it did to her mother..and also the effects of my husbands brother passing away on his family.

I think that people deal with death in different ways, no two people cope the same way. Some times also the only way we can cope with something so great a loss as a child dying is to pull away from those that love you and deal with the loss internally. This often means that the outside world and the people around you can have a negative affect on you.

Rather than looking over the small things they do, you start to focus in on them as being really irritating and want to be away from them as much as possible.

You have had a hard blow to deal with. Not only did your daughter die, her husband and child are living with you. I am sure its great to have them near you, but they also serve as a constant reminder that she is gone.

My daughter is only 14 months old, but so much of what defines my marriage to my husband is our bond through Gracie (or baby). It terrifies me to think of losing her, because what would life be without her? So much of my life is defined by raising and caring for her. You put so much concentration and love into your kids, where would it go when they are gone before you? That is not how life is supposed to be. You aren't supposed to have to bury your kids.

Your husband and you now have to figure out how to live life with just having one living child. It sounds like you both still need time to heal, and you need to lean on him a bit, and he on you. Share your feelings instead of dealing with them alone. Maybe if you reach out to him, and he to you, the things that you were able to look over for so many years will fade away like they did before.

Best wishes to you!
A death of a child can really tear couples apart. I am sorry for your loss.but u guys have to share ur sadness u guys need to look into the future adn pray for ur osryr i dunno wat else to tell very sorry for ur loss
Your daughter just got killed in a violent manner, plus your next grandbaby. It's natural to try and take out some anger on anybody. Your hubby is closest. It is a dangerous time for your whole family, especially you %26amp; hubby. Marriages have fallen apart over far less. You two need to find out how to be each other's best support. Get outside help if you need to. Do whatever it takes. It will be worth it in the long run. Pray.
So sorry for your loss. That is the worst thing a parent can deal with.

My husband and I lost our little boy after a babysitter left him alone in the tub and he drowned. This was the hardest thing imaginable for us to deal with and almost drove us apart as well. We would place blame, take our anger and frustrations out on each other until we were always fighting.

I would strongly suggest some grief counseling, or in the very least going to a support group for parents who have lost a child. This is the only thing, I think, that saved us. You have to allow yourselves a chance to grieve. You will find that you will be each other's strongest support system in getting through this. You have been together 27 years; don't throw in the towel.

Good luck.
I truly am sorry for your loss...I can only imagine the pain that you are going through... you and your husband both would benefit from therapy....I think what is happening to you is not really that focus on one another and one another as to not deal with the loss of your daughter....
I think you are probably hurting really bad from your lost daughter and are looking for a way to release those feelings by finding stuff about your hubby to pick at.

Your hubby is probably going thru some things with his feelings also and he probably has a hard time expressing them also.

I think that you guys should go to a therapist/counselor to work on these issues because a death in the family is really serious. And it is even worse if you have feelings like that towards your spouse.
I'm so very sorry for your loss. The loss of a child and unborn grandchild must be horrible. I'll pray for you.

As far as the rest, I believe you, and maybe all of you, might need grief counseling. It's not unusual for such a tragedy to wreak havoc in a family, but now is the time to love each other and pull together, not tear each other apart.

Would it be possible for your son-in-law to find a place of his own? Maybe the strain of him being so close to you right now is not the best situtuation Does he have family of his own he could stay with? Can he not support himself and his son? He may have done stupid things, but he must have been worth something if the daughter you loved so much loved him. Maybe just knowing that will help your feelings about him.

I hope you find an answer. But do find some help dealing with your grief issues. There are counselors that specialize in grief management. Please consider that for a starter.

Good luck...God Bless
Try to get through this together... You're a team! He is the only one who is hurting just like you are. It's hard, but try to make a conscious effort to do this together. And maybe try counseling.

Good luck!
when my parents lost my brother at almost 19,i guess my dad blamed my brother and my mom blamed herself for the death.they are still together but it doesn't mean they didn't have problems that i didn't know about as i was newly married at the time and living about 4 hours away after all the funeral events.the death may have brought things to the surface for you concerning your husband and if you can't work thru it,you'll fall apart.
Because you are in MOURNING . Old Father Time has a way of easing these things, but it takes time. Whatever you do, DON'T Lash out at him; you will heal quicker, if you're not alone. I'd suggest having a weekly discussion about that daughter %26amp; let everyone talk; then get up %26amp; stay busy %26amp; concentrate on the ones you still have. How would you feel if you kept brooding %26amp; maybe ignoring the others %26amp; one of them died? Men mourns, too, but not in the same ways that women does, so don't think he's not taking it hard, too. As you heal, you will start to think more positive thoughts.
After reading your story, #1, I'd like to say I'm so sorry for you and your family..

Years of being the strong person you are have taken a toll on your emotional stability. It is your turn now for support. Would strongly recommend you find a support group in your area for your whole family.

Your daughter would never want her child's grandparents to be at odds with each other over anything related to her death.

Hope you, yourself can seek some counciling to help with the loss not only of your daughter, but your best friend as well.

Your husband is reacting ,this was his child as well. You certainly have my thoughts and prayers. God bless you all.
A death of a child can really tear couples apart. I am sorry for your loss. I want you to look back in the first few years of dating and of your marriage. Remember what it was that made you fall in love with him. How has that changed over the years. Is it something that you can get back??

Been with my guy for 20 years. Love him more than ever. If our children (age 3 %26amp; 7) dies, I would want to hold on to him even tighter. Of course we are very affectionate, hug and kiss daily, hold hands all the time, and I would think, after the death, I would want more affections. Good luck.
You are just hurting right now and your emotions are on overdrive. Try not to take things out on each other, he's hurting also. Remember your daughter and cry if you have to. Seek out a support group, or if you are religious in any way, get in touch with the spirtual side of things. I'm sorry you had to lose a child, thats a horrible and tragic event.
I think you are angry....anger is easier to deal with than the absolute horror and sadness at the death of your daughter and unborn grandchild. You need to get some grief counseling, either join an online group or one through a local church or even one on one counseling. There isn't much worse in this world than losing your child, it changes you in ways that many other events never would. I am so sorry for your loss.
Get into gried counselling now and if you can find a support group do that as well. You are in pain, pain that others cannot fathom let alone understand. You have been married a long time and that is a beatufiul thing. Hang in there, find a way to work thru this with your family. You sound like a beautiful family. Work it out, don't give up. Find grief counselling. It will be worth it. Celebrate your daughter and her life. Make a legacy for her. She wouldn't want your marriage to end. Honor her with what you are doing. God Bless You my dear!
I'm so sorry for you loss. maybe you are still in a state of shock over the loss of you daughter. you may be looking to much into things now that you know life can change in a split second. i hope you can get back to a semi normal life with your husband who is hurting to I'm sure. talk to him. god bless your family.
First, I am deeply sorry for what you are going through. I can literally feel the agony in what you have written. Many years ago, my youngest brother was killed in a terrible accident during his first year of college. He was the youngest of four children and I can still recall the agony that my mother and father dealt with as if it was yesterday. My mother couldn't take the pressure and died six days later.

My heart goes out to you and your entire family.

What you are all dealing with is severe trauma and the unimaginable stress that goes with it. There is now a name for it. It is called post traumatic stress syndrome.

Some people have a hard time dealing with their emotions even when things are pretty good. when that emotional strength is put to the test, as in your situation, many just cannot live up to what they need to do. It doesn't make them bad, it simply shows that they are weak. You are all going through a very trying situation and you need to grieve. You're all probably trying to be strong for each other, but that creates it's own ';catch22'; in that you don't get the chance to ';let it out'; like you really need to.

I'm sure you have heard from time to time, maybe after some school kids being killed or something that the school would be providing a ';grief counselor'; for the students. That's what you and your husband need. Someone who can help you work through this. The loss of a child is uniquely the worst thing a parent can deal with. Nothing else comes close. When this child was also your closest friend and confidant, it's like two losses in one. Add to that the loss of an unborn grandchild, and you have way more than anyone should ever have to deal with.

I'm not sure what things over the 27 years are now coming back to hit you in the face, but believe me when I tell you that now is the time you need to be in each other's arms, not at each other's throats.

Get someone who can help the two of you through this. Your daughter, son-in-law, and grandchildren need the two of you more than ever.
sorry about your lost,you are going through a very hard time,now and a lot of changes in your life,and so much pain,you can't do this all alone,talk with your family,tell them how you fell,and share your felling with your daughter husband,and if i may say so,ask GOD to help you and your family through all of this

Do you like my song? (called Brenda's Song)?

How do you live with three weeks left

What do you do with no time

What do you say to your kids and husband

What do you do when your ready to die

How do you watch your kid cry

How do you watch your husband fall down and cry

How do you watch the precious time slip by

How do you remember those years


What do you do without time

You live to die waiting for death

Like a baby helpless in this world

you go pray to the one who loves you

Pray that your kids go to college

pray that your husband is all right

pray that your family can do without you

pray for more precious time

pray that mom can bury her kid

and pray that dad does all right

pray that on sunday, that you dont cry

pray that your cousins do fine


And take comfort in knowing

that you were a blessing

Like an angel a rose among the thorns

you helped the world by showing them his love

Like an angel a rose among the thorns

you helped the world by showing them his love

his loveDo you like my song? (called Brenda's Song)?
wow. This is so good. I don't know the tune you're using but it does flow nicely as a song. The lyrics are so sad but also powerful too. Great job. PS: i wanted to cry in some parts but the ending is somewhat positive. keep writing. Love Julia.Do you like my song? (called Brenda's Song)?
Better than most pop song lyrics, I must say. If I have any criticism, it's that it's a little too sad, and personally I wouldn't like it, I find melancholy a much more beautiful emotion, but the public like this sort of thing, so you'll do fine.
It's great. True emotions and a lot of people can relate to such a song. I love how you ask questions and then you write the actions of what you do even though you have those questions.

excellent job!
Wow. A lot of the lyrics of songs I've read before can't match up to yours when it comes to quality. This is excellent. God's definitely given you talent in this area.

So, to answer your question...yes, I do!

How do you see your spouse?

the other day i asked my parents and my hubby's parents the following question, i was surprised as how each of them answered. i asked

'when you look at your husband/wife who do you see? do you still see the pretty little girl/handsome boy you married or do you see them as they actually are?

my mum said she still sees the really cute boy she fell in love with.

my mum-in-law says she sees him as he is. my dad said he sees the old woman mum has become while my dad-in-law says to him his wife is and always will be that shy little miss he fell in love with.

so how do you see your spouse? and if you don't mind telling me how long you've been married and your ages i would appreciate it.

their answers just got me to wondering just how we each perceive our mates - thank you in advance and have a really great day!How do you see your spouse?
I see the beautiful, innocent, Loving person that he is within. We have been married 17 years, %26amp; never have I in any of that time been in doubt of how he felt for me. He is my rock %26amp; a grounding force for me. We are total opposites on how we meet the world %26amp; handle just about everything. It seems what I am not that is his strength %26amp; what he is not is mine. We compliment each other in so many ways. There have been clashes thru the years, but they have only added to us rather than taken anything from us. This is a second marriage for both us, %26amp; I had actually given up on dating %26amp; was a single parent for 13 years when he walked into my life. So many people have added to me %26amp; helped to shape who I am today %26amp; sometimes I wonder if he knows just how much he has helped me find my wings! I am the luckiest woman in the world! Thru all those lonely years all I wanted was someone who would love me, seems I got my prayer answered!

Thank You for this question, I think I am going to go give him a big hug right now. Sometimes we all just need to count our blessings %26amp; He is one of mine!

Blessings!How do you see your spouse?
I'm 62 and my husband is 67 and we've been married 21 years (second marriages). Under normal circumstances I still see my husband as he looked when we first met. Than sometimes, like when we're in separate parts of a store) I'll see him as he looks now and almost not recognize him. The same thing has happened with my children because I still see them as little girls. I think the shock at seeing them as they really are is wondering how did this happen? Where did the time go and how much do I have left?
The years have been hard on my husband - a 30% disability from Desert Storm that causes daily pain along with poor health have, I am sure, aged him. But I still see the rock jawed, tanned, big shouldered man I married 24 years ago. To this day all I have to do is think about him and I smile.

Thanks for the question - I'm sitting here grinning like an idiot.
My poor husband. He works so hard. During the days at one business and nights/weekends at the other. Despite his hard work, the failing economy is killing us.

Therefore, he's been drinking too much and it worries me more than the thought of being homeless.

I think he's a great husband, a great father and the most spectacular grandfather two little children could ask for.
my wife use to be the greatest thing that ever happen to me.she was very smart,good looking and caring.we have been married 14 years,well now she lets her 34 y/o son run her life and things are not like they use to be.she's not as smart as she use to be,but i put up with it because i love her.
My husband and I were married for 26 years and up until the day he died, I could see the gray, but what stood out most for me was the youthful twinkle in his eye and his engaging smile, as handsome as he was the day we were married.
I'm 40 and don't have a husband, but I see the dear, innocent little boy or girl in those I care for, romantically or not, alongside the person they are in this minute and the wise old man or woman I imagine them becoming.
I married for the first/only time at age 37. We have been together 19 years. I see my husband as the wonderful man I chose to spend the rest of my life with. We have both physically aged a bit but are more in love than ever. Awwwwwwwwwwwww...I waited a long time to pick the right one.
I've never been married but one day in 1998 dad was looking at mom's passport which was issued in 1952 and said, ';Look at your mother. She hasn't aged a day! She looks exactly the same!'; Mom is still beautiful but, of course, she has aged. But not to dad.
When my girlfriend, she was everything a man could wish for in my eyes.That was over 40yrs ago, and since then, not one single thing has changed my young friend.
All I can do now is have a glimpse of what she used to be and only see what she is now, as I am, old and wrinkly.
I see her as she is, and fortunately, the more she matures and blossoms - the prettier the flower.
twenty years later, he's much the same as he was when I met him... slender, strong, cutie.... just a few more gray hairs in the beard.... still has those laughing blue eyes and bowed legs that were so cute, too!....
i see her as exactly the day we met! because that was only 5 years ago! (both l8 40's.)sometimes,she still wears the same sweater as the day we met-so,not to difficult to remember that day!
Well, sometimes I see the boy, but every once in a while I see an old man creepin in鈥h no, I guess that鈥檚 just my moods ruling my eyes...
I saw him as he was when I am met him when he was eighteen.It was still amazing until 2 years ago for 54 glorious years. I was so lucky.
I see her in my dreams as the beautiful woman I fell in love with. She died about 30 years ago, 4 months after we married.
Once I lift his face up off his neck he looks the same as the day we met. :-)
Please stop a moment and consider this

think about this and see if true of your own experiences

The magnificent things about ';the mind's eye'; -

--- the first time you see an individual ---

each time you think of the person

that is the image you get in your mind.

I first saw my sweet lady walking through some glass doors coming into an office building------she was nineteen ------- today she is seventy six and when i look at her now i still see her as nineteen.

June 12, 2009 we shall have been married fifty years---

and i thank Our Lords for each nanosecond of happiness with her.
I saw him for years, as the person I had fallen in love with, funny, kind, caring, a good friend, my best friend, fascinating to just sit on the beach and talk to, watch the sunset, someone I had a lot of common interests with, and a great lover, ageless, always made me smile.

Unfortunately I am not even sure that person even existed or if it was just a con.

When he changed it was very hard at first to see realityand not the memory. To see him for what he had become, and that the things he did were unforgivable, like the cheating, the verbal abuse, the lying, the drinking, and not still see him as the person I had believed he was. And wanted him to be.

I have had to force myself to face up to the fact that, if the person I fell in love with even existed, who my heart always wanted to forgive, doesnt anymore.

He is long dead and gone, and the selfish jerk has either revealed his true colours or taken over his body. Its sad because part of me will always see him, from a distance, which is the safest place to be, as the great guy I gave my heart to.
my mum always said she married the cutest boy ever and to the day she died she would say whenever she came out of the shops and saw dad sitting on the tailgate of their truck with the dog waiting for her - her heart would flutter an extra beat or two - because right then at that very moment it was like she went back in time and there was the cutest boy happy to sit with the dog and share a burger while she did the shopping. she would get this far away look in her eyes for a moment or two and then shake it off and laugh at herself - but y'know i believe her - he always was the cutest boy ever in her eyes.

[they were married 40 years and in their late 50's when she passed.]
what an interesting q

we have been together over 8 years, im 31, hes 26

(yeah im a cradle snatcher wanna make soemthign of it haha ;-D )

i still see the same gorgeous looking guy i knew he was gonna be

the same odd funny, and big liped hottie

he still sees the same small, cute, odd girl , with gorgeous dark hair and small hands

its funny, beause we have both changed in many ways looks wise, and yet, still look so similar

so we see the same things, but just maturer, better, older etc

have a great day yourself too