If your husband of 30 years fell for his first girlfriend?

My husband 60 years old,went on friends reunited and contacted his old girlfriend when he was 16.


Well,all hell was let loose.He hid it from me for several months,as I was trusting enough to believe he was just seeing a friend-I thought and believed he would never do anything that would hurt me.


He admitted that he had fallen for her only after I found some letters he had written -but not sent to her. He said it was just fantasy and not real -and that I should not be so silly.


After being with someone for so long and trusting them to never do a bad thing to hurt me-I am now not trusting him in anything.


I do not now feel we have any future together.


I would never do that to a person that I truly loved-i would have walked long before it got to that situation.He just wallowed in nostalgia-and now he and I am paying the price.


I just do not see any future in a relationship that is dogged by suspicion and guilt


Has anyone had the same experience and how did you resolve it?If your husband of 30 years fell for his first girlfriend?
Oh God, I'm so sorry. I kind of understand what you're going through. My husband and I were just newlyweds a couple of years ago when his old girlfriend showed up at his mom's hospital bed and later her funeral (her mom and his were friends). She was very touchy and flirty, very brazen with him, and all afternoon they chatted each other up and talked about old times. She later e-mailed him, thankfully he had the sense to turn her down for an invitation to dinner. But that experience has dogged me ever since, particularly because my first marriage ended with infidelity so I am extra-sensitive about it. I guess all I can comfort you with is that time will help heal this, also understanding why he gave this woman so much attention in the first place. What does he feel he's missing from the marriage? Is it just that euphoria? Or feeling free? Some couples counseling would help you enormously. Please don't give up on your 30 year marriage without giving that a try. Good luck to you.If your husband of 30 years fell for his first girlfriend?
it 's a pity to hear that,but that not the end of good things that can be shared between you two. it hurt to be cheated at.think deep,is there any love or good feeling you still have for him? set yourself free by forgiving both yourself and him and carry on with him.you can do it.make it work.
I would of packed his bags made copies of the letters and put them on top of the bags and changed the locks on the doors.
he just thinks he's a kid again.. it is just a fantacy.. what else could it be? don't leave him.. what are you gonna do? start all over again?? don't be silly.
EVERYONE does this in the internet era (looks in on an ex). Some say hello, reminisce a little and be done with it.


Some simply let sleeping dogs lie.





And some, try to rekindle that old spark.





You have invested 30 long years in this marriage. If your husband was not as invested, he would never have hidden it from you, rather, he would have simply said Sayonara and left you, for her.





He has not fallen for her, rather, he has ';fallen'; for the memories and the youth it breathes back into him.





I suggest you breathe some youth back into your marriage. Tell your husband that you understand that it felt good to have that fantasy, but that time has passed and you are his wife now. If his contact with her makes you uncomfortable, tell him you want him to end the relationship now.





And then, you begin doing maintenance on your marriage. 30 years is a long time. Do some stuff you've never done before. Go be big kids. Kiss your husband for no reason. And love him like nothing else.





Dont throw this away on a silly mistake he has made. Are you being silly? No. You are hurt and it is very understandable.





but if you bludgeon him for this, if you allow this to destroy your marriage, then yes, you are being silly.





Use this to work on you guys. You'll be glad you did.
I have similar experience, my husband is 60 y/o and we've been married for 35 years. He started an affair with a coworker, he met her in Dubai where he worked away from his family and so was she. He hid the affair from me for more than 3 yrs. He continued seeing her after he returned home at the end of his contract. Took the woman to trips to other countries. Finally, helped the woman coming and settling in the USA and continued seeing her. That's when I started to suspect things. I found tons of evidence of their affair, but he wouldn't admit it. I don't need his admission, I know what was going on and I decided to leave him. I don't want to be a part of his life. He can have his mistress and be happy.





By the way this is not his first time cheating and this woman is married with 4 children.





I kept myself busy and doing things that I love doing. Its not easy to get over a long time marriage but I hardly have any nice memories with him to cherish.