Why do people feel that love is ';Hard Work?';?

why does everyone on here keep saying that love is hard work? It's not when its the right and real kind of love. My husband and I have know each other going on 10 years and we have only yelled at each other once. I spent my whole life hearing those exact words,';Love is hard work. Marriage is hard work.'; My first long term relationship was beyond work because it was wrong. I left that relationship with a beautiful child but a bad outlook on relationships. Work, work, work, that's all it was.





Then, I found out what real love was. After 4 years of friendship and 5 years of marriage and 4 yeah I said it 4 kids, I can't imagine how God can bless me more than he has. I know things can go wrong in relationships and NO, I do not think you should run at the first sign of trouble but SHEESH! Why everyone so pessimisticc? REAL love is ever lasting. You can't fall in love and out of love. If you DO, then it ain't real!!!!!!!! Falling in love, is a one time deal. It happends and you live the rest of your life loving that person. all that other stuff is confusion, lust and superficial. Sorry, I just felt like I had to ask that!Why do people feel that love is ';Hard Work?';?
First of all, congrats on your luck! I hope it lasts a lifetime.


Love can be a challenge and hard work, if for example one of the partners becomes seriously ill or the couple conceives a seriously ill child or even loses a child or suffers great loss in other ways. Dealing with hard times can break you apart as a person and if you have huge stress yourself then it can happen that your relationships unwillingly suffers, too. From personal experience I can say, either your relationship falls apart over it or it strengthens your relationship to the maximum. But for that to happen you need to be strong and willing not to give up. Not everyone has that much patience with their partner. Other people have trust issues in general and overcoming those is hard as well.


I hope my answer helped you a bit or gave you an idea what could be hard work in a relationship. It's not always coming from inside the relationship, some times it's coming from outside.Why do people feel that love is ';Hard Work?';?
Love is hard work nothing in life is easy
I suppose people say that because of the culture and society we have now. The morals aren't taught like they used to be like: Respect, loyalty, commitment, responsibility, etc (you know what I mean)


People now believe that love is this maudlin feeling (like lustful feelings or an exaggerated crush) and they jump to the feeling that they're ';in love'; but when in fact it isn't. It's just a wave of attraction.


So when the break up comes they don't let go and keep their attraction believing and convincing themselves that it's love. And when you are hanging onto a feeling that needs to be let go I think that's where people can say it's ';hard work.';





I personally think that in this society we have now that love can be hard to hold onto. Not individual love, because a person (from what you're saying) can fall in love and never stop, but in a relationship many outcomes can come to a downfall. Cheating is now accepted and open relationships, lust, all of it is accepted when (I don't think at least...) it shouldn't.


So love in between two people, as love being defined as commitment, because when you think about it love is a commitment.


Also love has been widely convinced as mostly a selfish indulgence than a selfless action.





Saying that it's ';hard work'; can go either way. I think that most people though, say that love is hard work because of fights or disagreements. People believe (along with the maudlin feelings) believe that love is suppose to be peachy keen when it does involve working through the ups and downs. ';Thick and thin'; ring a bell? That phrase I suppose is a reasonable one because I mean even families fight but they still love one another. It's just hard work to sometimes get through those rough times.





If you're love life is a healthy and positive one, I'd say good for you, because you're probably a lucky one and that you're probably someone who cares more for their loved one than themselves.


That's (in my opinion) a good part of healthy love.





Sorry that was probably a really scrambled thought, but it's just my opinion on your question.