Monday, August 16, 2010

Falling in love with brother in law after husbands death. what are your views?

Falling in love with brother in law after husbands death. what are your views?

This question is not for me, but for a friend/coworker of mine. Her husband Jeff, his brother Eric and Erics 8 year old son Connor, were in a horrible car crash nearly a year ago. Her husband Jeff and his nephew Connor died. Eric (who is unmarried by the way) was severely injured and spent about 2 months in the hospital and went through months of physical therapy. Both my friend, Tracy, and Eric have also gotten counceling. Needless to say, both Tracy and Eric were devistated. Tracy lost a husband and Eric lost a brother and son.Suddenly, Tracy and Eric were thrown together in their dispair and grief. Each leaning on the other. Each trying to be there for the other one. Well, in the months that followed the accident, Eric and Tracy got very close and are now in love. Have been an actual couple for about two months now. The problem is, that many family members on both sides and some friends of the dead husband, Jeff, are not happy with this and think that it is disrespectful to Jeff. Jeff and Tracy were happily married before he passed and like I said, Eric is unmarried. To me, I understand how two people can come together in grief and fall in love. I also think that Tracys husband would have wanted her to be happy again, and be with a good man. It will be a year in October since the accident. What are your views on this? How would you feel if you were a friend or family member of JeffFalling in love with brother in law after husbands death. what are your views?
It sounds really normal when you go through things that no-one else can imagine weird things happen. When my husband passed away 4 yrs ago he has two brothers i leaned on them alot not to the point of romance i was pregnant and both of his brothers were married but it sounds like they need each other and they understand each other very much. The family needs to just calm down things will turn out however they are supposed to they will stay together or it will just be a healing phase.Falling in love with brother in law after husbands death. what are your views?
It's not disrespectful to anyone.

I would be worried if they are together for the right reason though and not because he reminds her of her deceased husband and the brother is not simply hanging onto something (her and the kids) that once belonged to his brother.
makes complete sense to me. hopefully brother in law will understand that the widow is upset and mourning. once she gets passed this, her interest in brother in law will ultimately be obselete.
If my husband fell in love with my sister after my death. I would come back and haunt the both of them. In my mind- trifling. But to each his/her's own!
Wrong on so many levels.
My MIL did the same

they are very good together and happy

love comes when it comes
This is really deep.....because of the family connection you can see how they leaned on each other for support. I guess I just can't see how support led to love and sexual feelings. It seems boundaries we're crossed.

I can understand them needing each other for support and I can understand how the family feels its disrespect to the deceased brother/hubby.

Look at it like this, if they have kids she would have had kids with 2 brothers as well as he having had a nephew AND child with same woman. Bottom line rather I am alive or dead I do NOT want my sister with my boyfriend/hubby!!
The family members should be ignored. Her husband is dead, Eric is unmarried - they share a LOT in common and I see no problem in them dating and if they marry, they marry.

If the family members do not want to accept this, then that is their problem, but it should not stop her and Eric from having a relationship. Am willing to bet that Jeff is happily watching them together knowing his brother will take care of his wife.
I think there might be more to this story? If I were Jeff and could look down at everyone here and see that my wife was in love with my brother, I would be hurt. (especially after 11 months).

But I could also understand how this type of thing could happen. Very sad.

I guess if Eric and Tracy really love each other and can work through this together, it might not be such a terrible thing? It's their life right?
it is disrespectful, no her husband would not be pleased, if he could come back he'd feel as if they were always attracted to one another and he'd be right. i believe he had his eye on her for quite some time and vice versa, 2 sex fiends who should have had the common sense to leave it alone for a couple years.

i knew a woman who died and soon after her husband married her best friend, dont tell me they werent always attracted. lust for the other person lurked in their hearts.
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