How far would you go to be with the love of your life..?

I met this guy 8 years and 6 months ago ,it was love at first sight,i knew it from the first moment that i saw him thet he was my other half of my soul the person thet was going to complete me,anyway the problem was i was married,i had an arranged marriage,i wasnt intemate with this guy but we expresed our feelings to each other and he wanted me to live my husband and marry him,coming from a different culture i couldnt live my husbant because my family would never ecept that, i am from europe,and the guy i fell in love with was from india and that is something that just dosnt happen where i come from,anyway my husband found out that i was seeing him and hell broke loose and i never saw him ever again.Its been 8 years and 3 months and i never stoped loving him,sometimes i miss him so much i cant breathe(i dont love my husband)but we have 3 kids,i am staying with him because my family wont support my decision(my mom threatens to kill herself if i live my husband)because in my country its a shame to live your husband...and everybody would look down on my family and nobody would ask for my sisters hand in marriage if i do,o god i dont know what to do i feel dead inside and i cant stop thinking about this guy,i know he must be married with kids by now i just cant helpp it...i dont know what to do ...if i try to find him and my husband finds out he would kill me.........How far would you go to be with the love of your life..?
First of all , you owe it to your children to have a good loving home. You need to get over this guy once and for all.If you really love him, let him go in your mind and heart forever.Take the energies you spend on this other guy and become devoted to your husband and children.If you have to, go to counseling. You are wasting your life by keeping this in your heart. I am not judging you at all. I am trying to tell you how you can be happy again. You have to let go of the past. Are your 3 children healthy? If so, you need to be very thankful. I am not trying to hurt you, but it is time for you to live as a whole person. Think of what this is doing your family, especially your children. Bless you, and I hope you find the courage to mage the needed changes.