Of all the misconception about Love the most potent one is about ';Falling in Love';.
When you you say I am falling in Love, we certainly mean- ';I love him'; or ';I love her';. But two problems are immediately visible. The first is that the experience of falling in Love is specifically a sex-linked erotic experience. We do not fall in Love in with our children even though we may Love them very deeply. We do not fall in Love with friends of same sex , until we are homosexually oriented- even though we may care for them greatly. we fall in Love only we are consciously or unconsciously sexually motivated.
The second problem is that this experience of falling in Love is invariably temporary. No matter whom we fall in Love with, we sooner or later fall out of Love if the relationship continues long enough. This , however, does not mean we cease to Love that person.
If falling in Love is not Love, then what is it other than temporary and partial collapse of ego boundaries? I do not know. But the sexual specificity of the phenomenon leads me to suspect that it is a genetically determined instinctual component of mating behavior. In other words, the temporary collapse of our ego boundaries that constitutes falling in Love is a stereotypic response of human beings to a configuration of internal sexual drives and external sexual stimuli.
The most common misconception about Love is dependency is love. This is a misconception with which psychotherapists must deal on a daily basis. Its effect is seen most dramatically in an individual who makes an attempt or gesture or threat to commit suicide or who becomes incapacitatingly depressed in response to a rejection or separation from a spouse or a lover. Such a person says'; I do not want to live, can not live without my husband [wife,girl,friend, etc], i love him/her so much'; And when the psychotherapist responds'; You are mistaken, you do not love your husband';
The patient will respond back angrily '; What do you mean?';, ';I just told you I can't live without him/her';
Explanation is- What they define as Love is not Love but Parasitism. When you require another individual for your survival, you are a parasite on that individual. There is no choice, no freedom involved in your relationship. It is a matter of necessity rather than Love. Two people Love each other only when they are quite capable of Living without each other but choose to Love each other. I define dependency as the inability to experience wholeness or to function adequately without the certainty that one is being actively cared for by another. Dependency in healthy adults is pathological, always a manifestation of a mental illness or defect. We all- each and every one of us- even if we try to pretend to others and to ourselves that we don't have dependency needs and feelings. All of us have desires to be babied, to be nurtured without effort on our parts. every one , irrespective of his age and how much mature he/she is, looks for a mother and a father figure. But for most of us these desires or feelings do not rule our lives; they are not the predominant theme of our existence, then we have something more than dependency needs or feelings; we are dependent.
People with this disorder are so busy seeking to be Loved that they have no energy left to Love. They are like starving people, scourging wherever they can for food, and with no food of their own to give to others. They tolerate loneliness very poorly.
';If being loved is your goal, you will fail to achieve it. The only way to be assured of being Loved is to be a person worthy of Love, and you can not be a person worthy of Love when your primary goal in Life is to passively be Loved.';
Thence, as of love's stupefying nature per se of which psycho-social and other correlatively expanded and extendedly growing immaturities while being widely considered as a ';must'; for keeping this absurd life going, this four letter word, based upon Cartesian ideology, which implies a lie woven world, is innately a ';Big Lie!';Tell me about falling in love formy english class discussion? also read this and say what do you get from that
Christ.....nothing worse than an English major. Save it for the classroom sweetie will you?Tell me about falling in love formy english class discussion? also read this and say what do you get from that
sounds like someone needs to be LOVED more.
and love does not = lie
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