How would you fell if your husband tells you that he is having an affair and asked you to accept the situation?

I am 53 years old so in love with my husband which is 55. lately he told me that she found a woman of 48 and they fell in love with each other, he is now committed to her and cannot leave her anymore. He told me everything giving me the assurance that he loves me so much and will not leave me only i have to agree to their affair. I felt so hurt and my health was affected just making scenarios of what they are doing when he is out of town. I felt so insecure imagining negative things they might do to me, like maybe someday he'll just tell me he doesn't love me anymore and he had to move with her. I have two children 13 %26amp; 18. I love my family so much and it really hurts.How would you fell if your husband tells you that he is having an affair and asked you to accept the situation?
You need to be strong and be a role model to your children. If you can't think about this in terms of yourself, then think about this happening to your children. Would you be o.k. with this if it happened to your child? What would your advise be then? Take that advise. This is a very personal decision. Many woman choose to live with it until the kids are adults. Many women choose to live with it forever. Many woman help their man pack his crap and get out. Even drive him over to the other woman's house and drive off laughing. It's your decision. Take your time and make the best decision you can.How would you fell if your husband tells you that he is having an affair and asked you to accept the situation?
You are wrong to accept this situation considering how much he is obviously hurting you. You are the wronged party and you and your children should feel betrayed. Your husband obviously thinks that he can get away with it, which is the reason he told you in the first place. Stand up for your self and let him know that he can't have his cake and eat it. It may mean the end of your marriage but take him for all that he's worth and regain your self respect.
tell your husband his responsibilities towards his wife and children. try to push some children and family work on him which is u did on daily basis.


he should know sacrifices u did for family. don't think of separation from him he is only yours.this process is little time consuming but u give your all efforts to make think happy and be happy.U WILL DEFINITELY WIN. all the best
Emotional blackmail. You are letting your husband know you can not live without him. He's using this to get what he wants. Don't be this way. You can do very well on your own and you don't deserve someone who cheats.
YA?? I think this would hurt anybody. SO what are you going to do. Are you going to sit there and be played like a puppet, or are you going to get up and show him that you won't be treated like this from him or anybody else???
I would not share my husband with anyone. i would tell him if his slut is so important he wont leave her then he loses me. the leave his worthless butt at the curb.
Walk away and take everything with you- in other words give him the boot.
I would divorce the jerk. you do not deserve that. why should you let him have you and someone else?
My ex did this to me After 19 years of marriage. You are in shock and denial and the pain is the worst you ever felt, perhaps.





Start writing out your history with HIM, and foCus on how he was mean unfair not nice etc to you. WRITE WriTE WRITE%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;%26gt;YOU MUST get to the anger stage ASAP. However, keep your mouth closed and tell him nothing about your plans. Make sure you read THE DIVORCE HANDBOOK ASAP, and make sure he doesn';t find it. Make sure you do not longer cook, clean, no laundries for him, in any way shape or form. He must not be near you for you to make this happen. He is in a midlife crisis and might contract AIDS%26lt; HIV%26lt; Herpes, so the marriage is dead, over! That hurts, but you mUST accept it. Once a cheater, always. He IS a a mental mess, and will hurt you again and Again from now on. Speak to a good divorce lawyer and also a good therapist tool. Read CREATIVE DIVORCE. Read Stop, YOu're Driving ME CRAZY, read: why bad things happen to good people.





This is long in the works on his part. I suspect he's cheated from time to time on you.





Make sure you are firm that divorce is the way to go. Make sure when you finally enact it, you clean out all the Bank accounts, money markets,. stock, etc...and take and hide your your valuables, and lure him to do something like threaten you so you ac an go top the cops and get a criminal order of protection against him getting him out of the residence full time. You will be happier without him, but no, that seems impossible.








After A While





Author: Veronica A. Festal





After a while


you learn the subtle difference between holding a hand and chaining a soul


and you learn love doesn't mean leaning and company doesn't always mean security.


And you begin to learn that kisses aren't contracts and presents aren't always promises


and you begin to accept your defeats with your head up and and your eyes ahead with the grace of a woman, not the grief of a child.


And you learn to build all your roads on today because tomorrow's ground is too uncertain for plans and futures have a way of falling down in mid-flight.


After a while you learn that even sunshine burns if you get too much


So you plant your own garden and decorate your own soul instead of waiting for someone to bring you flowers


And you learn that you really can endure, that you really are strong and you really do have worth and you learn and you learn


with every good-bye you learn.
I think that you need to look at the big picture here. If he really ';loved'; you then he wouldn't be doing this to you. If he does love you then he needs to leave you alone so you can get on with your life. You deserve so much better than that. I know it is easier said than done, but you need to let him go. Honestly can you see yourself dealing with this and putting yourself through all this? I'm so sorry you are dealing with all this, but the Lord doesn't give you anything that you cannot handle. You have 2 kiddos right? You need to consentrate on them and healing yourself. Good luck and I hope you make the right decision!
You know everyone will tell you to drop him or kick him out but we both know that is not easy, especially when your self worth as a women has been attacked by his dumb behavior. You also know he wants the best of both worlds, sweetie all I can say is that you are really worth more than this and the sooner you see that the better you will be equipped to deal with the situation, please get out and mingle with people that can boost your self confidence. Good Luck!
You must be absolutely devastated, but try and imagine the future. Surely the situation is never going to improve for you. It will eat you away every time you know or suspect he is with her and eventually make you feel like your losing your mind. How dare he expect you to accept something so cruel and selfish. The only closure you will ever get if you don't take action (leave him) is when he finally gets bored of travelling between you both or the inconveniency of your emotions. Think of your children and the message you are sending them about how relationships should be. They should be full of love and respect, not settling for second best.
You have two options. One is to accept the relationship you have, maybe even getting involved, by accepting the mistress into your home and building a friendship, both of you sharing your husband. Second, you file for divorce and take control of your life. Your husband will move in with his girlfriend, but you will have child support and home. At that point you can start dating and living a normal life. Your still a young attractive woman, so do not think you can not find another man. So weigh your options and make the one that meets your needs. Good luck.
The very same thing happened to me. I am 44, my husband 49, and the other woman 32. He told me he couldn't get this woman out of his head and wanted to tell me about her so that he could be free to 'date' her and see how things went. It was either that or him move out, and as our son's exams were approaching I decided I had no option but to put up with the situation. It was hell on earth watching him get ready to go out with her, and very difficult to be okay with him at home in front of the children, but I did it by assuming that he was suffering from some sort of mid-live crisis/depression. I hoped that it was other things in his life which were wrong, not me, and that he would eventually realise that. I booked us a family holiday and we had a great time apart from her texts arriving every day (Hi sexy how I miss you etc) and apart from having to rush back because he had arranged to go out with her the night we returned.





Eventually though, I had had enough, and decided it was no life for me and that I had had enough time to show how much I love him, and he had had enough time to choose which life he wanted. On the day he was supposed to move out he drove over to her house and told her it was over between them.





We haven't looked back since. It has been hard to overcome the feelings of insecurity and jealousy etc., but I have come to terms with the fact that our relationship wasn't good, and that if someone had come along and shown me the attention that she showed him, I may have chosen to have an affair too at that time. There was blame for the state of the relationship on both sides, and even though I hated every minute of the affair situation, it has brought us so much closer than we ever were before (not to mention I lost 3 stones in weight!)





See how long you can stand it for, and try to be how you want to be with him regardless of what he says or does. Sometimes it even helps to think of yourself as the other woman - think how she hates it when he is home with you sleeping in your bed. Make sex great again. We even made love out in the garden and did things we had never done before in 20 years of marriage.





I really hope things turn out how you want them to. You have a lot of pain ahead, but it's not too late for a happy ending. Good luck to you.
Most answers you will receive will probably tell you to leave the man.


Really? Is it that easy? I think not.


You need to realize that since he told you he is committed to this other woman he is lacking all respect for you, the marriage and yes, the children. He wants you to ACCEPT this? Is he insane? What moron would ask his wife to accept the other woman?


How can he profess his love for you yet is having an affair with someone else?


He made his bed now have him lie in it. If he wants to have the other woman lie in it with him, so be it. BUT! Don't allow him to treat you this way. Gather your dignity and self respect that he shattered and put them back to pieces. You do not deserve this! AT ALL! Hold your head up and realize this marriage will not work with this situation. Don't play the third wheel. Don't try to make ultimatums because it sounds like he has made his decision and is firm about it. Your health, your mental stability, self esteem is at stake here. Let the moron have his way. You are worried about him one day telling you he doesn't love you anymore. He has already said that by having the affair and being 'committed' to her.


You are an experienced woman here. It's not like you are 18 dealing with a high school crush. Have respect for yourself.


I know it's easier said than done. I have been in your shoes and although it took some time, I eventually left the man who hurt me the same way your husband hurt you. You can always forgive the man who cheats on you but the after effects of it are worse to deal with than the actual act itself. The mental torture will always be in place.


Be strong here. Let him know you mean business. Don't give him the satisfaction that he can have two women and it will be ok.


Sorry but your man is scum.
I don't get the ';I'm so in love with my husband after he told me to my face that he is having an affair, he will continue with it and I must accept it or he will punt me to the curb.'; I don't think your ';in love';, I think you are insecure, afraid of leaving, afraid of starting over, afraid of having to be responsible, afraid what your kids will think, that you will hide behind any excuse (I love him so much) so avoid making the difficult choice. I'm not going to tell you what to do but your options are pretty much a) Remain in a marriage where your spouse doens't give a crap about your feelings or b) Divorce him, collect alimony / child support and get on with your life.