Monday, August 9, 2010

What Would You Do If Your Husband Is No Longer The Man You Fell In Love With?

I still love my husband to death, but he is not the same person that I fell in love with. We have been going through some stress, and I'm sure that plays a part in the change of behavior, but things just aren't all that the same...I know it's because he's consumed with things that need to be done, I am too, but I don't like that it affects the way we are with each other.

I used to be able to go to sleep comfortably at night knowing that I will wake up in his arms no matter what side of the bed I fell asleep on. It's no longer the same. He doesn't even hold me when we sleep anymore, I don't think he even sleeps. He is always thinking, always working, always doing something...I know he isn't with anyone else, because he spends all his time with me. And our sex life, it is active, but it isn't the same either. We used to make love for hours, and we used to do it everywhere in the house. Now we are confined to our room, and I feel as if some of the passion has been lost, just a little...It's not a question of infidelity, I'm sure that's not the case. And I know he still loves me, and we are expecting our first child together this summer. I just want to know how to make sure that he does not get stressed out about things to the point where we kinda lose touch with each other...What would you do?What Would You Do If Your Husband Is No Longer The Man You Fell In Love With?
You are not the first female to mention a difference in the relationship, esp. when a baby is due. Some men think they will cause harm to the baby if they continue sexual activity and it hard for them to rethink this. Along with getting ready for the newborn, you say he has things to get done.

Simple solution is to do some reading on how your pregnancy affects him or ask him and allowing him to be afraid, excited, tired or whatever without judging him.

Remember he entered the marriage as your husband, now he going to become a father. He sounds like a great man and is probably worried more about fatherhood than you can realize. He was your daddy but now he has this little tiny breakable person entering his life.

Congrats! What Would You Do If Your Husband Is No Longer The Man You Fell In Love With?
You should have a heart to heart talk with him. He is stressing cos your expecting your first and he is consumed with trying to be the best husband and father. Just be a little more patient and tell him how you feel. He sounds like a great guy. Congratulations on the baby! xo
I started to bring back the things we did when we were dating. We love to watch sports and drink beer so I got a babysitter and we hit the sports bar. We had a great time, laughed and held hands. He enjoyed it so much, he suggested we make it a weekly event.
Betting that in all honesty you aren't the girl he fell in love with either - think about it how have you changed. What expectation to you now how that you didn't have in the beginning.
talk about it. let him now how you feel and whatever you do... don't give up on the relationship yet. best of luck hun and i hope everything works out for you! %26lt;3
He's still the same guy. He's just got things going on. You should try and ask him to make an effort to get that connection back. If you neglect things they die - you have to work to keep them.
You're probably not the same person either. don't hold it against him, things change. He may be nervous about the baby coming, or stressed about something else, try talking to him.
Tell him what you told us, and ask him what's stressing his life and what you can do to maybe help. Good luck.
Take him/her on he Love Boat and late at night, on the upper deck, profess my love for the person (make sure they are closes to the rail) then push hard.
Well, you may not love him but at least you get sex out of the deal.
Six months after I married my wife I got laid off. My wife thought my moroseness was an overreaction and she waited for me to come out of it. I never did. After twenty years I got diagnosed with depression and medication and counseling have helped me lots. We would of had twenty happier years if I had been checked earlier.
Your life isn't the same as it was when you were first married, either, so it is natural that as time goes on, your life together will change/evolve, and you both will change with it. What you have to do is make sure you are still ';connected'; as you both change. It is important that you spend time together with the purpose of communicating, being affectionate, and focusing on each other. For example, designated ';date nights';, and some one-on-one time in the evenings to download from the day and just talk. Communicating what you feel is imperative to the health of your marraige. This needs to be addressed now, because once baby comes, it will become more difficult.
All marriages have moments of intense loneliness - emotional and physical. Because while you're in a marriage, you're still essentially two people with your own thoughts, feelings, desires, dreams and capabilities (to deal with stress). It sounds like you know the issues, you now need to act on them. Don't put pressure on your husband, but I would suggest counselling, or even doing something nice for him like getting him a massage. Instead of focussing on what you're not getting, why not focus on what you could bring to to the table to make things easier. Of course, don't suppress this either. You should definitely tell him how you feel, but preferably not in the actual situation itself (ie not when he is stressed, trying to get to sleep, worrying about work etc). Frame it in terms of how you think he is not prioritising his life as well as he could be, that he needs to think about his life a little more, and get some help with managing stress. You guys are going to be fine. You're just going through a natural, but crappy time. Have faith that you will get through it, with patience, gentleness and the realisation that what you're going through now is real love, while the passion/infatuation stuff is never lasting.
a wise woman once told me that a lifelong relationship is actually SEVERAL relationships. We all change, we all evolve - as a couple and as individuals. You will date 20 people in 1 man over the course of a lifetime. There is no possible way that your relationship will stay the same for 50 years...and that is a very good thing! As much as we want that crazy eros love to last forever, it can't. Sometimes, it ends sooner for 1 member of a pair than the other. It turns to more of an agape love - a family love....and if both people are committed to it, it is the kind of love that can last. There will be ebbs and tides...the romance and crazy love will come back from time to time. All we can do is hope we chose someone that can weather the more calm / and yeah...sometimes dull and lonlier sections of time together. Many people can't handle this part of a relationship...they think the grass will be greener, and they leave for something else (which may work for a short time) until the inevitable cycle comes back around.

Good luck!
Like everybody else said, he might be stressing over the on-coming child. But maybe try telling him how you feel instead of letting it build up inside of you. If you confront him on your worries or instincts, he might understand. I might be a little young to tell you about your sexual life, but, again like other people said, it might stick into his mind that it could hurt your child.
I could be that husband. Perhaps he wants to be gentle now you are pregnant. The passion does fade, but gets replaced with stronger bonds. Try and get yourselves a break a few weeks before the baby is due. While you prepare for the baby, plan a hobby for yourself that does not involve babies. You will get very tired once it is born, but you still need a life, and an interesting wife who can spark a conversation without talking about the kids ALL THE TIME is a recipe for a fruitful partnership. While resting, start studying for a degree, even if it is in childcare.
if you are expecting a little one he is probably stressed if he will be able to provide for that child. Men see things a lot different than we do. for some reason they tend to put all the provider stress upon themselves instead of focusing on the blessing that is coming. talk to him and give him some space he needs to work through it.
Reality check! Nothing ever stays the same and you have to learn to roll with the punches so to speak. Your husband IS still the same person you fell in love with, it just sounds like there is more to stress about and the forever changing times always has an effect on everyone. This is where unconditional love comes into play. He is now comfortable with you and its not AS necessary to still act as though you are in the honeymoon faze. I say talk to him and see what you can do to help bring back the spark. Tell him you dont feel as cherished by him as you used to and that you miss his strong arms holding you at night. Trust me honey,';The grass is NOT greener on the other side.';
Honeymoon is over.

Get over it.

Wait till the baby is born.

It will be 100x worse!

ADD ON- I can't understand what the thumbs down are for....everyone that has been though having babies KNOWS your days of ';making love for hours'; are pretty much OVER for a LONG time......babies needs always come FIRST....geez...just being truthful!

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