Monday, August 9, 2010

How do you fall in love with your husband again?

I've been married for 12 years now, have a beautiful 4 year old daughter and am very happy. BUT for the past year I have a numbed sense of love for my husband. He is great, although there are things that still irritate me about him, but besides that I used to deeply love him and now I feel nothing. I never want to leave him, but hate this dead feeling - is this just a phase, will I get over it?How do you fall in love with your husband again?
If you love something, you dont just let it go - you work hard to fix it. I say this from the heart, as I have just been told by my ex of 3 months (nothing I know) that she no longer ';loves'; me - but for me the word is used way too easily.

Love - is unconditional positive regard. It doesnt come and go, true love exists forever. What you are experiencing is not falling out of love - but your missing your honeymoon period. Because maybe things arent as rosy as they were before, you are getting chewed up. I know this because I have felt it in big relationships (4 years) and short relationships (3 months) - and when I feel the other person isnt making the required effort, I get myself chewed up.

Talk to him about it... start doing some old stuff again. Go on dates, nights out - and have cosy nights in. :-)How do you fall in love with your husband again?
The way you feel might not only be about your husband. It could be that you are a bit down or depressed in general; that can numb positive feelings. Or that other things in your life are either distracting you (stress) or making you unfulfilled/unhappy, so you can't feel the love that's there.

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sometimes we believe that the flame of love as gone but hasnt we get too much worryed with life coz of kids tiredeness monney work and that flame hides in ourselfs more time a personne spends with his wife or husband gives the feeling love is gone u have been 2long when he/sh goes u see u still lov

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Aww my comment touched your heart... aww :-) thats so sweet :-) let us know how it goes!!

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What attracted you to him in the first place? Mental list.

Obviously you had sex,hows that working now? think about it.

You have good memories of your past with him-the smiles,laughs and maybe the inner feeling that you to have a bond. Did you 2 date, hang out with freinds,go partying? 12 years things change,circumstances change and people change. Feel like you are stuck in a rut,12 years of emotional baggage?

Kim, he's your husband, your friend, your lover and the father of your daughter. these should be facts, and everything else in the past is just that- in the past. Mark the calender, make dates for fun and mentally start over. It's like sobriety- one day at a time.

And for godsake, give him lots of sex. : )
You should leave him, its one option. Your daughter is young and adaptive at this time.

Marriage is work! You both gotta make it happen.

You will then miss him, realise you took him for granted, and go back to him. Madly in love again lol

Or you could do what is logical. Rekindle your love. Go back to why you fell in love with him, what brought you together, go out to dinners, like dates. Its the only way, appart from leaving him.

I hope you realise there are many women whom are single moms and they are finding it sooo hard cause the DAD LEFT!!! you know this i am sure.

Count yourself lucky, or that you did something right, as he still is with you!

So seriously think hard, use your communication skills, your intelligence, and make it work!. Appreicate what you have to day, be grateful everyday for him and your gurl. And more great things will come your way.

This is it.. This is how I really feel with my 8 years boyfriend too.

We're about to get married. Not that I have cold feet or something but I'm just not 'in love' with him anymore. and I'm not sure if we could stay with person we love but not 'in love' with. I don't know what to do. he is a real great guy and I sure do he'd make a perfect husband and father. but the thing is that I'm not in love anymore.... feel so stucking... don't know where to go.. don't know what to do..
If you don't dwell on ';not'; feeling anything and accept the fact that feelings change all the time, you will be fine.

Love is not based on 'feelings'; love is a learned thing between a man and a woman.

You claim you are very happy; then stop fretting about feelings.

You fell 'in love' enough to marry him; so focus on his attributes and not on your feelings.
Bottom line - honest answer - I tell it like it is.....

YES you can - BUT - you have fallen into the trap that most people do after a child arrives.....YOU AND HE are NOT making time for YOURSELVES..

MAKE TIME to do things you used to do..
Go back to the time when you first started dating. Start the romancing and dating all over again. Let some one keep the baby and the two of you go on a romantic getaway
All you have to do is rekindle your love life, plan a get away together, create good times for yourself. and everything will be back
work harder both of you

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