Monday, August 9, 2010

Do you fall in and out of love with your husband?

Every few months or so my husband and I have an ';off day'; Where the spark is not there. Its nothing that is a big deal to me. I always thought it happened to every married couple. Things cant always be happy, and every kiss cant shoot fireworks right? Well, Every other married person I have asked about this says there is something wrong with my husband and I. That no matter what you should always have the same connection, that you should always have those butterflies in every kiss. I honestly don't see how its possible. Is it okay to have an off day once in a while? ( We don't fight those days or anything, we just don't ';click';) Is my marriage headed for divorce? Or is everyone I ask just being fake?

thanks.Do you fall in and out of love with your husband?
it happens to everyone don't worry it's normal and don't let anyone fool you when they say they fall in love everyday even more with their husbands/wives because it isn't trueDo you fall in and out of love with your husband?
Think about it. You are around someone 24 hours a day, you poop in front of each other, and are constantly around each other..It's normal to have somedays where you just wake up and you are like screw this man and you don't love him. It's like having a dog that keeps jumping on you every day in from work, you want to punch it sometimes but that would be mean =] It's normal because the love we see on TV isn't possible. We all disagree and dislike each other sometimes. They are being childish! Stay happy and stay in love. Hope those days stop coming up as often.
I am a wife that does this all of the time. It lays the ground work for some great making up and reconnecting, sometimes. I feel I want a divorce somedays and some feeling that I can't explain always pulls me back and it is the second feeling I trust for some reason.

Go with your heart on this one if you can keep finding reasons to stay and not every kiss will have butterflies, but then some might have stampeeding buffalo in them. It is called working it out. Good luck.
Don't think about Divorce. Consider it not even an option.

Marriage is work and being around any one person a lot is difficult. You and your hubby aren't headed for divorce, your just human. Those other people you asked lied to you or they're just on some type of medication ;)
Hey mommyof3. I am a daddyof3. In our 20 years the flame has burned very bright some years, and much softer others. That is just the reality of any marriage. Anyone who says it is hollywood like fairy tale like consistently is lying, lying.
You are putting the wrong title on your feelings. Sometimes the newness does wear off and it's okay to say no, I don't feel like having intimacy right now. It doesn't mean you have fallen out of love, you just aren't in the mood.

Yeah i feel like sometimes do fall in and out of love with my husband!!

But actually its not out of love, its out of like. You get annoyed so you no longer like him but remember!! 1 corinthians verse 13, LOVE NEVER FAILS!
Its not love, its a compromise situation.
It is not normal NOT to have off days. Having butterflies every time is Stepford Wives stuff... it's not real.

The magic is in the fact that no matter how off you are some days, you can always find each other again. People need their space in order to ';recharge';. When you get back into the groove your relationship should be stronger. It is like a roller coaster.

My husband and I keep a love journal. We each have access to it and when we have something on our minds or hearts, instead of yelling about it we write about it. Sometimes it is easier to spill your guts if you have alone time and you are not being interrupted and glared at. Then we set a time to have a glass of wine and go over what we wrote together. It stops a lot of the OFF days before they happen.

Remember not to go to sleep angry. Even if you agree to disagree before bed, hold each other tight. Life is too too short for anything else.
It's perfectly normal. Are the people you are asking newly weds? Do they ever speak of problems? They may not want anyone to know that they have any. Anyhow, do not worry about it or even consider divorce. Even if there is trouble, can it not be worked out??? True love is about giving and caring in spite of and less about feelings like we make it out to be. Therefore, just b/c the feelings aren't there sometimes, doesn't mean the love isn't. Are you still there supporting him and vice versa? Are you being committed and vice versa? Then there is love. Many do not understand the concept of true love and go in and out of relationships looking for something called ';love'; that can't be found b/c it requires sacrifice - which many are not willing to give. Concerning the spark, try reminiscing with some old music or looking at old pictures. This usuallly does the trick for me. Plan dates and act like you are two teens without a care in the world. Sometimes business and caregiving take up so much of our time, that we don't make time for a spark. You have to go out and get your fireworks if you want them.
What makes a great friend... In my opinion a great friend is someone that you dont have to be ';on your game'; around. Someone that knows how you are and accepts that you have off days. this is also an essential component of a good spouse. The fact you guys can hav off days and it is all taken in stride says more for the strength of your relationship than silly butterflies. If you and your partner are okay with things then don't worry about what everybody else thinks.

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