Would you be happy and in fall in love if you married like this?

LADIES, please tell me what you think. Lets say you you were with a guy for a few years, dating, you loved each other but this guy chickened out everytime you talked about marriage, he changed his mind SO MANY times. He treated you so well, but you got sick and tired of waiting for him. You dump him and marry another guy (a friend from college) 5 monhts later. When you get married you can easily admit that your husband is sweet and treats you well AND follows through on promises (unlike your ex). However, you know in your heart you love your ex more and maybe realized you only got married because you were suffering in your heart and bcs. this guy was ready to marry NOW and you didnt have to wait on your ex who was scared to get married...





If this is how you feel and what happened, you think you can just forget the ex and be happy or will you always think ';what if?'; Would you be albe to fall in love with your husband if you still completely love your ex? How would this marriage turn out?Would you be happy and in fall in love if you married like this?
I think that if you honestly think that a man who doesn't follow through on promises and changed his mind constantly about marriage is better for you than this guy, you are living in a dream land. If you listen to yourself, you'll realize that it is silly to love someone who never shared your goals.





Let me fill in the ';what if'; for you:


He'd finally decide he was ready for marriage. You got married, and then 9 months later he wasn't sure. He'd tell you this every night and you'd feel strange, like your husband didn't really love you. You'd also think about how it took him so long and so much convincing and wonder if he really loved you.





If you can't accept someone who is good to you and shared the same goals and you love him (you don't have to be gaga with your heart racing 24-7), then you will never be happy. It sounds like you WANT the guy who pushed you around, and are going to reject the one who supports you.Would you be happy and in fall in love if you married like this?
Your husband who you say is ';sweet, and treats you well, and follows through on promises';, married you in good faith, is in love with you, and has done nothing to deserve you hurting him.





Listen, the other guy doesn't deserve you, but your husband does. I have been in a similar situation, where I married my first husband when I was still in love with another man. That other man treated me horribly, but I couldn't help but love him. My husband was a hundred times a better man than my first love, and he did not deserve to be hurt by my poor choices in love.





I stayed with my husband and after a few years found myself deeply in love with him and I stopped loving the first man. I woke up one day and while laying in bed I realized I had given myself the best gift by not going back to my first love, and that I was totally and completely in love with my husband who was laying in bed beside me, and by that point was the father of our three children.





Do you know what woke me up to the reality of my deep and abiding love for my husband? He got sick, very sick, and nearly died. I was faced with his mortality and in that moment life without him flashed before my eyes, and I nearly had a stroke it took my breath away so fast. I think God put the vision of life without my husband before my eyes, and I lived it for a few brief, but intense moments. I hope you do not spend too much time not understanding the depth of your love for your husband some day and have regrets for not seeing the truth sooner.





My husband recovered that incident, but it brought the chill wind of his illness, which was terminal. We had a short five additional years, and he then widowed me with two surviving children aged seven and ten. It was one of the most difficult losses of my life, with the loss of our first born to leukemia at age two and five days the worst loss of my life up to that point in time.





So, the bottom line is yes, I could, and did, fall in love with my own husband after getting married when I was not ';in love'; with him.





Give it time and you too will fall in love with this far more deserving man you married. Think how you would feel if you were in his shoes. If he had married you on the rebound, yet you married him out of a deep love. Think how you would feel if you were nothing but loving and good to him and he left you for a no good woman he ';thought'; he loved? Sure, it is his loss, but not really, because you are the one left hurting and grieving, while he is off with a woman he thinks he loves. So, who is really losing out here? The most innocent of all three of you!





Don't do that to this good, sweet man who follows through on his promises to you. Think what a wonderful father he will be to your children. What kind of father would this other man be who cannot even commit to the woman he says he loves after how many years? He is the type of man who will one day walk out on his wife and children on a whim.





I wish you the very best. Do not look back on this one day and regret leaving this man, your husband. Don't look back and wonder what if. Don't betray him, yourself, and your future children. Just decide you have married this man, be honorable, and you will love him one day. I just hope you don't discover it too late.





Good luck and please have a nice day.
I'm the kind of person who pines away on what-ifs, so I would probably wonder my whole life. However, I would also appreciate what I have and could eventually fall in love with my husband if he was good to me and gave me what I needed.
It may be sound lame, but you are now marriage with a wonderful person who is treating you very well, try to do the same thing like your husband does to you, love will come along..i know it is hard to forget your ex but just remember that your ex had chickened out so many times when you asked him about marriage thing..it shows you that he is coward, he is not ready for commitment, he just want to have fun, nothing more and i don't think you would like to trust that kind of person to have your precious love and care. Try to love your husband and make the time of your marriage so precious...
Go with guy number two. Your ex had plenty of time to commit himself. He will end up making you unhappy because he will do the same thing when it comes to other issues in your life.





Your ex would be a terrible choice for a father. You would never be able to count on him.





Forget the ex. Love and adore Mr. Right and you'll be surprised how great your marriage will be.
I would be committed to the one I was married to and give not a second thought to the one that lost out on me.





Good luck!
That would never be me...





I could never marry unless I was completely and totally in love.
its seems as if the ex had commitment problems that could possibly never be resolved with you. you dont have to forget the ex, he was special to you and there is nothing wrong with having deep feelings for him. its natural because you spent so much time with him. but you do need to let go of the past and get on with your husband. he is treating you rite, good to you etc. you can learn to fall deeply in love with your husband if you give it a chance. the ex wasnt going to give you what you need.
if you keep having strong feelings for the


ex i wouldn't think the marriage would


last to long, and it's not fair for your husband.


so need to follow your heart or try and forget


the ex and love your husband as much as you


would your ex.